God is the one we should fear.

After chemo is over (because that was all the doctor could do) and now I am moving on to the maintenance treatment, I was feeling alone and a little worried about my body. When I worry, I know that is when I am not reading enough words. While I was receiving a treatment (not chemo) at the doctor's office last week, I read these words in the Bible.

"The Lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does. He said, “Don’t call everything a conspiracy, like they do, and don’t live in dread of what frightens them. Make the Lord of Heaven’s Armies holy in your life. He is the one you should fear. He is the one who should make you tremble. He will keep you safe." (Isaiah 8:11-14a, NLT) 

 !!!
It is a strong warning. I told myself to be strong because the only one to fear is the LORD of hosts.
Our God is a wonderful Counselor, a mighty King!

A song from Yentl

Papa...

By accident I fell in love with this movie. Even when Yentl married to another lady, I thought it was brilliant that the "husband" Yentl drew the best out of the bride as she taught her to be free.  I love the ending of the movie, too. Why settle for one piece of sky from the window when the whole sky is out there? The song echoes in my heart.

The sickness caused me to look at the life differently even though I still don't think God gave me the sickness. My journey continue to be more free.

"Papa, watch me fly!!!"

Christmas present from God

The full chemo therapy started after CyberKnife in September 2010. I did chemo twice, then another CT scan. The scan showed that the tumor shrunk some.

Two more chemo, then another CT scan and a PET scan.

Mark 16:17-19 (King James Version)

 ¹⁷And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
 ¹⁸They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
 ¹⁹So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God.

There is a confirmation to it which I didn't notice until recently. These words are for those who are going out to preach the good news, but it certainly encouraged an ordinary person like me and it fit my journey of receiving healing.

 ²⁰And they went forth, and preached every where, the Lord working with them, and confirming the word with signs following.

This "confirming" part came to me today.

The PET showed that the liver, lymph and the bones are clear, and the tumor is now 1 inch diameter! Here is what the report says.

"There has been significant interval decrease in size..."

"Evidence of mediastinal lymphadenopathy and metastatic disease to the liver has shown complete resolution."

!!!!!!!!

Thank you, Papa!!



I have been taking my case to the LORD.
So many people are praying for me and my family. I am in awe. They really pray for me and I am humbled.
As I seek healing and choose to live, I came across these words from one of the books my husband and I are reading.

The heart of the gospel is not healing. The heart of the gospel is not signs and wonders. The heart of the gospel is not even the anointing of the Holy Spirit. The heart of the gospel is Jesus Christ. It is only as we clearly proclaim Christ first and foremost that we will experience signs and wonders following.                      ~ Mahesh Chavda

Amen!

There is great power in the simple message of "Jesus Christ and Him crucified."

                                                                     ~Mahesh Chavda

Amen!

Jesus is my Lord and Savior. He gives me life, and He makes me whole.

"It is in the blood!" ( revised )

...is what my friend said when she read what I wrote on my facebook. I wrote that my blood count was very good even after the chemo therapies.

I just finished my last chemo at the beginning of this month, and went back to the oncologist's office for the routine blood check a week later. The blood test results looked as if my body was going back to normal. It just must be!  I thought I was wrong, but I was correct when I said that the blood test result which was done one week after the last chemo was one of the best ones!  Is it because medicine is getting more sophisticated like some people told me? Or is it a miracle? It IS God! Even the radiologist told me a few weeks ago that I was doing much better than the average patients. Praises are due to God. I say "Hallelu-jah!"  I have to admit my mouth tasted funny for one week or so, and I had to keep resisting the little voice saying to me that I am not getting any better and I maybe getting worse, but I have learned that I can resist the thoughts that are not aligned with the word of God. Those thoughts feel as if they are the truth and real, but they are to be resisted.

Before the last chemo, I remembered to pray for myself, using the scripture from Mark, the one that starts with "these signs shall follow those who believe..." Whenever I was about to go in for a chemo, either in the tape of healing message I am listening to or in the book of healing I was reading contained this scripture and it reminded me to pray that prayer. Then I would lay my hand on myself and pray, believing that God is protecting me from any harm from chemo.  From the beginning of the chemo therapies, somehow this scripture came to me, but this time it seemed like it didn't. Then I said to God, "You did not send this scripture this time." And I felt like God said, "Because you already got it."



About laying hands on myself

One of my long-time favorite quote from F.B Meyers' Bible commentary is this:
(Genesis where Joseph was sold into Egypt).

"... but God knows that you are there and times the moments. Only continue to trust and do not be afraid! Blessed are they that believe; to them there shall be precise provision. Months ago a caravan started, which will arrive at the precise hour when intervention will best serve you."

I posted this on my facebook and God's divine timing came.
When I found out there was a big mass in my lung Pastor Che Ahn came to The River in Fresno. My son wanted to take me, and he took me there. I had been to this church when it was under a different name and a different pastor many years ago, and I met Pastor Che there. Then I wondered around to many different places because of many reasons for many years and I tried to fit in, but I never did. Coming back to this place that night was as if I came to a full circle and now back to where I was, except that this time I knew I wanted to be free and be where my relationship with God is strengthened. A part of me was saying that since my life may not be long, I might as well go where the spirit leads me. The truth is, I should live like that (not to be selfish but to be free in Christ) to begin with. I was excited when Pastor Che said that he was not planning to come to Fresno. The reason he was here was because his international trip got canceled, and he had time to come. Divine timing!
His message that I heard (other people might have heard it differently) was that we should be able to pray on our own and not to wait for a great evangelist to come into town. At first I was disappointed but soon I understood and I agreed. ( Yet even after that service I asked him to pray for me. And he did. ) His message taught me to be strong and believe that I have the power and authority to pray for the sick, including myself. I learned to lay hands on me on that night. He had everyone put their hands on themselves.

Thank you, Papa.

these signs shall follow...

Mark 16:17-20 (King James Version)

 ¹⁷And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
 ¹⁸They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
 ¹⁹So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God.
 ²⁰And they went forth, and preached every where, the Lord working with them, and confirming the word with signs following. Amen.

Praying for healing - spoken words

My prayer has changed last couple of weeks. The pastor at church said to take a risk and confess whatever you believe. I wanted to try to take a risk!  I ran to the pastor after the service and confessed to him that I was healed. The whole week I was filled with joy and the song flowed out of me.

Dr. Cho's book said something about spoken words and healing also. He said that God's spirit was hovering over the surface when God created the heavens and the earth, but nothing was happening until God spoke. The spoken words of God created things!

So I confessed. And I confess again. Some people think I am in denial. So I will be careful not to deny the fact that the tumor is still there. But at the same time I confess that I am healed because of Jesus' cross.

By his stripes I am healed.

I heard that in Hebrew and in Greek they use one word for healing and salvation. If we believe that we are saved by faith, then I don't know why we cannot say we are healed by faith. The Bible says, "Let the weak say I am strong." It doesn't say that the weak person has to wait until he becomes strong. The weak should say in faith that he is strong. I am going through the path of stage IV cancer treatment but let me say I am healed because of Jesus.


Let me keep believing.

Quote from Malachi

“But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. 

And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture. 

On the day when I act, you will tread upon the wicked as if they were dust under your feet,” 

says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.    Malachi 4:2-3 (NLT)

 The word "healing" means health, healing, cure, profit, and sound (of mind) according to Blue Letter Bible definition.

Wow. This is what the LORD says! 

"But for you who fear my name.."

I fear (in awe) your name! You are my God who created the heaven and the earth. Thank you, Lord. May ALL who fear His name be delivered into liberty!

Great example

Here is one of the first thing I googled after my doctor told me the prognosis. He basically said there was no cure for me and the treatment was to keep my body alive longer on this earth. I hardly knew the Osteens but suddenly I remembered she was healed of metastatic liver cancer miraculously. I looked for her story because I wanted to know what she did, and I wanted to follow her example.

Dodie　Osteen

She showed me how to choose life.

The Word of God is powerful. Knowing His Words and living as I hear from God is how I want to live. Modern medicine and the knowledge the doctors and nurses have are wonderful and I respect them but all the glory belong to God. Doctors treat but Jesus heals. Now is my chance to live closer with God, trusting, believing that His will is to heal. Because it is His will to heal us all. We all die but we don't have to die with sicknesses and diseases. No. We leave this world when our Father calls us home.

One of the scriptures that has come to me often is from Mark.

"And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."  Mark 16:17-18

My Dream
 
Right before my first chemotherapy I didn't really want to go for it, then I had a dream. In my dream I was walking through a dark, poor neighborhood. I could see inside of some of the homes (it was more like rooms). As I looked into one of them, people wrapped in gray cloths were reclining in mattresses. Then I said to myself, "It is a death room!" and I ran. I was afraid to get the chemotherapy because I knew it would kill not just the cancer cells, but also my healthy ones... The room I was about to enter for the first chemotherapy reminded me of the room I saw in my dream. But God reminded me of the scripture many times before I went in. I threw my arms into the air and prayed to God and then I said the scripture, believing that the poison (chemo) would not harm me, then I placed my right hand on myself and said the last part of the scripture. I once had my non-charismatic friend lay her hand on me as I said this scripture right before my MRI, too. We were praying in a little locker room where I changed my clothes and other people could have heard us but we just prayed with tears in our eyes. I am so thankful I am a family member of God.

I am doing better and better after chemotherapy started. The "poison" is working to attack the cancer but not harming my body. I believe the scripture is active. Praise our Father!

Happy encounters

Many divine encounters have been happening. They are stirring up my spirit to cause me to have desire to know God more. God is calling me to spend more time reading His word and listen to Him and just hang around with him more, I believe, because I was feeling down last week. I was not happy because when I had a chance to give a testimony unexpectedly, I felt like I was not giving glory to God. Does my heart really depend on God or chemotherapy and other vitamins? Cancer shrunk but why not total healing? Is it because I don't know God's word enough yet? I want to know God's way more!!

Those happy encounters were divine ones to stir up my spirit.
Yesterday I saw one of my friends' husband at a parking lot and he prayed for me.
 Last night at my friend's farewell dinner, one friend was simply sharing how she has been reading one chapter a day since the spring time and I commended her for that. It stirred up my spirit again to read the Bible and keep on reading. Today someone who wrote me an encouraging letter after he heard about me came by to drop off some CD's of healing teaching. We had never met before. He was a delight and the CD's are amazing. Godly people are around!!

Dodie Osteen said to read the Bible diligently in her testimony. She was healed of her cancer 28 years ago after she was told she had two weeks to live.

No time to waste!
I will stand firmly on the word of God!
Father, I will meet you in my closet now.

In His Presence

Last Sunday I met someone who has been healed from his stage 3 esophagus cancer. He prayed for me. He said that he did not know how to pray in a fancy way but he just prays for people. How wonderful! He said he never doubted that Jesus would heal him. Hmmm.... have I doubted? I have to say that I wondered if He would do that for me even though I believe firmly that Jesus can heal people miraculously. But I will keep believing and will not doubt.

He also said that he stays in the presence of the LORD. I need to be reminded of that. It is amazing that even when I am diagnosed with a devastating disease, I need to be reminded of that! But I took it as reality. I need to realize that spending time and tarrying with Jesus is not  just a relaxing time. It is the most important time. So I am tarrying more.

A lady at church told me several weeks ago that I should not wait until I am healed before I start praying for other people. I have been looking for an opportunity to come. Then last Thursday on my way home from another chemotherapy I saw a lady in a wheelchair with a cap on. She had lost her hair. Her husband was pushing her wheelchair. I had no time to hesitate because my heart went out to this young lady and I had compassion for her. I wanted her to know Jesus wanted to heal her. I am usually a shy person, but I introduced myself to her at the parking lot and gave her a copy of the list of healing scriptures I got form the Bethel church in Redding. I prayed one sentence in Jesus' name and left. (They were kind of in a hurry to get to the pharmacy before it closed.)

Jesus, we need you!

Praise God. Thank you God. I continue to do well through chemotherapy. Jesus is the center of the gospel. When I seek the kingdom of God first, other things will be also given to me and all who believe.


"And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."  Mark 16:17-18

Jesus healed all who came to him

Pastor Bill Johnson in Redding, Ca., said that Jesus did not say, "I cannot pray for healing because I think God is teaching you a lesson through this sickness." It is an incredible truth. I have been reminding myself that Jesus healed "all." God is not teaching me something in this sickness. God did not send this to me. That is why I can fight and keep going to God in prayer. I also keep asking for prayer. It is perfectly OK with God.

Jesus also healed Peter's mother-in-law and she got up and started serving. I told God that I would like to serve and love my family. I have been given the energy to work in the kitchen more and more. I didn't cook for awhile but now I am cooking again for my family.

If I believe that I am saved because of what the Lord has done for me, then, why not believing in healing because of what the Lord has done?

The truth is setting me free.

I enjoyed the movie Yentl.

I loved the movie Yentl.

Since I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer in September and the purpose of the treatment is to keep me alive longer (medically speaking), my focus has been Jesus, first of all, then the Scripture, eating (to stop loosing weight), and working and living. By God's grace and many people's prayer I am doing well. Last night I happened to watch Yentl and I was drawn to it. I loved it. It is a little strange story but I understand Yentl who wanted to be free to be herself. God designed us to be us. It brought back my passion to study the Bible more! Praise God. I am also happy that I am doing fun things like enjoying a movie.

I had a healing dream last night. Jesus, I trust in YOU.

ステージ４の癌（＝末期）と診断され、しかも治療の目的は治すためではなく私の体を少しでも長く地上に生かしておくためということになｔってから、私の生活の目的は　まずイエス様、そして聖書、食事（体重がこれ以上減るのを防ぐため)、仕事、そして生きるという風になりました。大変そうに聞こえて、事実大変なんだけど、毎日仕事にいってて見た目は普通の生活なんだけど、中身は”生きる”ために生きています。そして神様のめぐみと、多くの人たちのお祈りのおかげで私は元気にしています。　昨夜たまたまYentlという映画を見てとても惹かれてしまいました。生きるために一生懸命だったし、そういう風にテレビを見て楽しむということをしていなかった私にとってはめずらしくテレビをみて楽しみました。大好きになりました。ちょっとおかしなストーリで主人は私を変人あつかいするけれど、すばらしいと思いました。心に聖書を読む喜びをまた求める心が強まったように思います。ふたたび心にちょっと余裕がでてきてうれしいです。

Healing Prayer

Suddenly I am walking as closely to God as I know how. I am hiding under his wings like a little child would go under her parents' presence and hold onto whatever she can hold onto.
I was diagnosed with stage IV primary lung cancer which has spread to several parts of my organ and to my brain. I was a healthy person until I was diagnosed with it.

This is the beginning of my healing blog.

In July I went to an urgent care because of my lingering cough. It was not a big deal because I wasn't coughing much but I kept coughing since March. The x-ray showed a mass in my right lung. The urgent care treated me as pneumonia and told me to find a doctor for a follow-up.

My primary doctor referred me to a surgeon right away and said that this base-ball-sized mass should not be in my lung, and I did a scan.

The surgeon said I was inoperable and told me it was a cancer, but to be sure, I had a PET scan and a biopsy. The PET showed that the cancer had already spread to several parts of the body. He referred me to an oncologist, and ordered an MRI because the lung cancer tends to spread to the brain.

9/1/2010  Saw an oncologist. He said it was a stage 4 primary lung cancer and the prognosis was from 6 months to 2 years. He recommended 6 session of chemo, then one medicine via IV after that indefinitely. I cannot remember when, but sometime before the first appointment I had a dream. In my dream I was walking down an alley which looked like something I saw in a Vietnam War movie. The buildings were gray, and dark. I looked in those houses and saw some people were helplessly lying on the floor and they were dying. Then I shouted, "This is a death house!" and ran. On the way out form the oncologist's office, as I was looking into the treatment room, the image of the dream came back to me because it was just like walking down the narrow alley...

The surgeon called from his cell phone and said that the MRI showed the cancer had already spread to the brain and I needed to talk to my oncologist right away. I was devastated. That night I decided I would just forget chemo and live peacefully until the end, but my husband convinced me that I should start chemo because the medical help was available, and he said I should try. I decided to go along with that for my husband and our children.


Am I going into the room which may be a "death house?" I asked myself as I was entering the oncologist's office. In spite of my expectation, people looked cheerful there. I was at ease. I felt better. We were all trying to get better.

I did one chemo, one more MRI, then CyberKnife radiation therapy in September. I was fine. CyberKnife was a type of a brain surgery but I walked to the hospital, had it done, then walked back to work. I worked a few hours and drove myself home after the procedure. God was strengthening me all this time. My vision was somewhat blurry but I was fine.


I am thankful for all my family and friends and even the people I never met for praying for me.

I believe it is His will for all to be healed.

"Sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? And where are all the miracles our ancestors told us about?

I believe God heals miraculously. (..like something that shows in the x-ray will disappear..) It hasn't happened to me but that doesn't mean God doesn't do it.


"Why did I get this condition in my body?"
I usually stand in my closet and look back my life and repent of things I can think of when I get sick. I don't know if it is right, but it is just the way I am. Always there is something to repent from even though I don't know if it is related to my physical condition or not.

There is one scripture I found some time ago from Judges.

"Sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? And where are all the miracles our ancestors told us about? Didn't they say, `The LORD brought us up out of Egypt'? But now the LORD has abandoned us and handed us over to the Midianites."(Judges 6:13 NLT)

I was told there was a tumor in my right lung. Will I have a surgery?
 

When we ask the Lord "why" our God answers in various ways according to the situation, I believe, because He knows who we are and where our heart is. He doesn't seem to say "because" thought. God answered Gideon in a very unique way. I almost asked God "why" but my heart seemed to know the answer already.



New Living Translation (©2007)
3“It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. (John 9:3)


May God be glorified!

But I wondered.


"Will you heal me?"

I know it is God's will to heal all of us, but will he heal me? Yet I ask him to heal me. I would definitely keep praying and praying for my family.

12In one of the villages, Jesus met a man with an advanced case of leprosy. When the man saw Jesus, he bowed with his face to the ground, begging to be healed. “Lord,” he said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.”

13Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” And instantly the leprosy disappeared. (Luke 5 NLT)

12While he was in one of the cities, there came a man full of leprosy.^a And when he saw Jesus, he fell on his face and begged him, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” 13And Jesus^b stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately the leprosy left him. (ESV)


In NLT Jesus said to be healed. Other translations says to be cleansed. My own understanding is if our whole body was cleansed then naturally diseased part of the body would be healed! Either way, it is Jesus' will to heal us.



"How will it happen?"
Not by eating certain herbs or drinks or food. Not by doing exercises and train body. Those things are beneficial, but healing happens only by the grace of God - by His mighty hand. I still try to eat healthy, but not focus on it too much (at least I will try not to ). I read the scripture somewhere the other day that spoke to me but I can't remember where it was. Should have written it down..

Finally, if whatever I have is not departing from me, I would cling to God and walk one step at a time, asking Him to let me not loose my sight of Him. If not our God, where else could I go?

English Standard Version (©2001)
Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, 
(John 6:68)

Lord, to whom shall I go? Only you have the words of eternal life.

Deuteronomy

The word Deuteronomy derived from Greek and Latin. It is "Devarim" in Hebrew and it means "words."

I see in this book that people's hearts are so stubborn. Mine is like that, too.

God "Go and conquer the land I am giving you."
People "Let us send spies and study the land first."

After the spies came back they didn't want to go.


God "Turn around and go back."
People  "We repent. Let us go forward to the land."

God "Stop."
People went any way.

They cried after they were defeated but it was too late, but God is still gracious and compassionate. He loves them anyway.

Many situations like this happen in our lives, I think. Then we cry and think to ourselves (or to the Christians) "where is God when we need him?"

Please forgive me for being selfish and self-centered...

misunderstood words in the Old Testament

The word satan.
I am reviewing one of Kay Arthur's "Lord..." series and got curious about the original word for Satan.
The word "satan" is a Hebrew word and that means "adversary."  The one who opposes is "an adversary" and the word for that is "satan." It is not his name. Then I googled. See 

http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H7854&t=NLT

and

http://www.bibletopics.com/biblestudy/164.htm

The word Lucifer
A couple months ago I learned that the infamous name "Lucifer" is not in the original text when I was curious to see this part in the original language. Did anyone know that? We just assume that one of the fallen angels or the demon's name is Lucifer, but it is not true.See this.

http://www.echoofeden.com/bias/lucifer/

She conceives (Tazria)

(This is not according to the reading schedule.)

Leviticus 12:1-13:59

The instruction regarding a woman who conceives and gives birth to a child. The Scriptures say that the woman is unclean for certain days. I didn't know what to think of this. She becomes a mom and is 'unclean'. But the "Walk! Leviticus" commentary says something interesting. It gave me a different point of view.

"Women do not sin by giving birth to children (Gen. 1:28). Nor do their subsequent rites of purification require laying on of hands, confession, an asham, or a different offering for the birth of a boy or a girl. But the loss of blood diminishes a mother's wholeness, rendering her incomplete and thus tam'ah (cf. Lev. 12:4, 5, 7). Only the passage of time restores her wholeness."

(Walk! Leviticus)

(The word "tam'ah" means defiled.)

I feel God's thoughtfulness towards our wholeness.

Mr. Shigehara

This youtube is about Mr. Shigehara who wrote many visas to the Jewish people during the WW ll.
I was very touched by his life. I saw a movie based on his life, too. I believe he was a Christian.

In Jairus' case

A ruler of the synagogue, Jairus (meaning, whom God enlightens) came to see Jesus, he fell at his feet and asked Jesus to come to his house to pray for his daughter.

Then the woman who was suffering from bleeding for 12 years came up to Jesus to touch his fringe. Jesus was on his way to Jairus' house. The crowd was around him. The disciples were with him. Jesus stopped, looked around, and took time talking to this woman! What if I were Jairus? Ahhhh... "Excuse me, but my daughter is dying, we don't have much time. Jesus needs to be there now, please..." Then, humanly speaking, I am not sure if I could be happy for this woman who was healed. Couldn't she wait until after Jesus comes to his house? Someone from the house came and reported that Jairus' daughter died... while he was spending some time with this woman. Jesus was on his way to his house. He was almost there. I would have cried with such a disappointment. I don't know how Jairus reacted. A woman who suffered for 12 years was healed. But Jairus' 12 year old daughter died.

But Jesus is not restricted by the time frame. He was not too late.

Ms. Beth Moore said this in her "Beloved Disciple."

"A loved one's death is not a time to quit bothering Jesus." "He doesn't have our limitations or rationalizations. Has a death left you with unfinished business? Finish it with Jesus."

When I was doing the study last year my aunt passed away. These words from Beth Moore in the textbook was very encouraging to me. We don't know what happened to the loved ones who passed away without Jesus but we can bother Jesus about it until He gives us peace. I don't have the answer, but I pray until I have peace with Jesus. Beth's words gave me renewed confidence in Jesus.

Sometimes we think we were pushed aside and fell behind, but Jesus never forgets about us. He is never too late. He makes a way where there seems to be no way... Jesus raised the girl from the dead.

No more insecurity

Last week I went to a local church to participate in Ms. Beth Moore's simultaneous telecast. I had been stressed and feeling worn out, so I really, really looked forward to it. I needed something liberating and fun, and that was just what I did. I prayed, worshiped and my spirit was satisfied. I relaxed and listened, too. I was singing in the car again on my way home. Beth said that there were 300,000 women participating that morning! I was so glad to be a part of it. All these women's lives were changed by God through Beth's study. I know I am one of them. The topic was "So long, insecurity." Each of us matters Him. Sometimes we think God forgets us but that is not true. Beth's message is always encouraging.

I understood what she said. I am a changed person compared to several years ago because I separated myself from my insecurity. That happened when I felt alone and away from God. When I made a choice to do one thing, one Godly person was offended (because my choice of one thing automatically denied another thing even though I didn't mean to reject the other thing). I was devastated because I offended one Godly person and I felt like I was suddenly the enemy of her and her Godly friends. I felt like I was cut off from the Godly people I love. I didn't know where God stood in the situation at that time. I tend to hide and shy away and stand in distance to begin with and it is hard for me to claim to God that I don't have his support, but I desperately claimed that I was a child of God, too. I said that I knew God loved the person and her friends, but I am also God's child. As soon as I said that to God, I suddenly saw a picture in my mind. In my mind I stood up suddenly out of a wheelchair. The name of the wheelchair was "insecurity." I stood up out of a wheelchair called insecurity that day. I was not bound with insecurity any more because I was now sure that I was loved also. It was a very interesting experience.

I am still standing.

Urim and Thummim

Leviticus 6:8-8:36 ...."Command!" is what the LORD told Moses.

Chapter 6 is more detail about the sacrifices we read in Chapters 1 - 5.
Chapter 6 is where we read about Urim and Thummim...something I have been wondering about for a long time. What are they? I read that they meant 'light and perfections'.
Some commentaries I read don't mention Urim and Thummim so much. Mysterious...

The sacrifices that pleases God

Leviticus
Chapter 1 Burnt offering
Chapter 2 Grain offering
Chapter 3 Peace offering
Chapter 4 Sin offering
Chapter 5 Guilt offering

Studying the Old Testament is very fascinating, but sometimes I dwell in it too much. The Messianic reading schedule has the New Testament portion to go with the books of Moses and I am glad!!

Hebrew 13:16 (New Living Translation)

¹⁶ And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God.

Moses led the chosen people out of Egypt. It is celebrated as the Passover. The Jews count the days after that for 49 days. Then they celebrate Shovuot = "weeks" = Pentecost. They celebrate the receiving of the ten commandments. The law was given to the people through Moses. In Acts, we read that the Jews were gathering on that day. They were celebrating Shovuot. We call it the Day of Pentecost.

Jesus was crucified during the week of the Passover. After he was resurrected, he spent time with the disciples and others for 40 days before he ascended. Then the Day of Pentecost = Shovuot came, and they received the Holy Spirit! The day of Pentecost was 49 days after Passover. The Day of Pentecost came right after Jesus ascended.

Just like God's presence never left the Jewish people in the desert (by the pillar of fire and the cloud in Exodus, and by the fire and the smoke in Leviticus), Jesus never left the disciples! Even after the resurrection Jesus was with his people, and right after he ascended, the Holy Spirit was sent down, and he has been within us since then.

I had never thought of the time frame until today. It is awesome.

The Day of Pentecost

As I was looking at different websites, I learned that there was no special portion of the Scriptures that the Jewish people read on the day of Shovuot. They usually have special scriptures for certain festivals for all other festivals and they skip the regular reading, but none for this day! When I read that, it made me love the day of Pentecost even more. The Lord chose to send the Holy Spirit upon the people on the celebration day that is not as significant ( in people's eyes) as other festivals! Just as Jesus was born in an insignificant place quietly, He sent the Holy Spirit on the day of Shovuot. It is so God. The Lord certainly loves us all but I am grateful that He loves insignificant people (like me!).

Gift from God on a Saturday morning

After my graduation from a business college in January I tried very hard to find a job. There was one hospital I wanted to be a part of because their motto was based on the gospel of Jesus. But the door stood there as a giant wall and did not move. Then another hospital invited me in after the second interview. This is really my first professional full-time job because up to this point I have always worked for either my family or someone I knew. Naturally I was anxious. Then suddenly a lot of things happened in my life and my family's life. Why now? But it was now. My husband had one of the hardest week in his life during this time. I was stressed and could not function well for a little while...I was overwhelmed and my body simply refused to do all those things. I tried to do them but it was difficult.

After one event was over, I went to the woman's Bible study. The scripture we read was from the book of Job. Someone asked me if I felt like Job. I had no doubt the answer was "No," because even though it was a difficult time, it was not at all like Job, but our Father reminded me of what happens when we go through a tough time. It was revealed to me right when we were reading Job 42 in the Bible study!

⁵ I had only heard about you before,
but now I have seen you with my own eyes. (Job 42:5 NLT)

Because of this verse, I remembered that we choose to walk closely to God more when we go through hard times. Because we walk close to God, we experience God. I believe Jacob experienced the similar situation. God used to be his grandfather's and his father's God. But after his hardships, God became his God.

Leviticus 1 and 2

The significance of Leviticus chapters one and two:

• small alef ... God called Moses in the small voice.
• an offering for the burnt offering was to be brought by one's voluntary will.
• the smoke was 'sweet savor' or 'soothing aroma' for the LORD.
• it was an atonement...
• People brought an offering according to what they could bring.

The Hebrew word for for 'burnt offering' is olah. "Olah" also means "ascends".

These things above give me the image of our Father who is love.

• Jesus went to the cross, not by force, but by his voluntary will.
• His sacrifice was pleasing to God, a sweet savor for the LORD.
• His sacrifice was for us.
• Jesus ascended.

Leviticus!

ויקרא

This is the title of the first part of Leviticus. It says "and He called." It is read "Vayikra."

The whole book of what we call "Leviticus" is titled "And He Called" in Hebrew.

Leviticus 1:3 is interesting.
I found an interesting website. When we compare different translations in one page like this we notice that the Hebrew word that means "of his own voluntary will" is not translated. I think this word's presence makes a big difference in understanding who God is. Immediately I thought of a verse from the Bible: He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Book of Hebrews). We call our God and Jesus who is the same yesterday, today, and forever but we think God in the OT is not a loving God. He has always been a loving Father! My desire is to know my Father and Jesus who was sent by our Father more from the entire Bible.

I learned that it is well known that the letter Alef (the first letter in the Hebrew alphabet), the one on the far left above, is written in a smaller size than the rest of the letters in the Torah.

Let's look. This website shows the English text on the right and the Hebrew text on the left. In the first verse, you can see in this one that the letter alef is written in a smaller size. (Hebrew is read from right to left.) Our Jesus is humble...

http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt0301.htm

I hope that whoever comes to this blog can see it. It is totally God.

I learned that there are special-trained scribes who copies every little thing in the Torah. If the reader find an error, then the scroll would be given to the special place and the scribes would correct it. So every little thing counts. It is not an error that this letter is written smaller than other ones. Jesus said in Matthew 5:18

"For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled." (KJV)

"I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God’s law will disappear until its purpose is achieved. " (NLT)

"I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished."(NIV)

I learned that this small alef represents the LORD's small voice calling Moses from behind the tabernacle. The LORD is in many little things, not just in the big thunders and lightnings.

This is one of the unimaginable joy that God must have hidden in the original language. If our Father gives us the ability to read the original language and the help of the Holy Spirit, I can not imagine what kind of joy is available to us! We will fall out of our chair!!

Matthew 13:52 explains perfectly what those people are like. Those people can experience the unimaginable joy from both the OT and the NT.

Matthew 13:52
Then said he unto them, Therefore every scribe which is instructed unto the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which bringeth forth out of his treasure things new and old. (KJV)

Road to Emmaus

One of my favorite images from the Bible passages is the "Road to Emmaus".
After the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ, two disciples were on the way to Emmaus (= bath water). Then Jesus appeared and joined them in their conversation.

Luke 24 (KJV) "And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight. And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures? "

The two disciples' hearts burned within them as they were shown the secrets of the Bible from Jesus!

After Jesus ascended, he sent us the Holy Spirit to dwell inside of us. Then, it makes sense to ask the Holy Spirit to teach us when we read the Bible. When the Holy Spirit opens our eyes, we see Jesus. When we read the Bible just as a regular book, nothing burns inside us because we don't really get to know Him. But when the Holy Spirit shows us something in the Bible personally, then something inside burns. This is available to all of us who want to have it.


The passage says

"...while he opened to us the scriptures?"

Which scriptures?

Luke 24:27 "... beginning at Moses and all the prophets, he expounded unto them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself."

No one has ever said to me clearly, but I always believed that when the authors of the NT encourage us to read the scriptures, they must have meant the Old Testament because they were the beginning of the New Testament, and the NT part of the Bible was not available.

The New Testament portion of the Bible is not contained in the book-form. The ending of the book of Acts still continues...still now. F.B. Meyer said something very interesting!

The division of the narrative is indicated in the enumeration of the widening concentric circles of v.8: Jerusalem, chapters 1-7; Judea and Samaria, 8:1-12; the uttermost parts of the earth, v.13 and onward to the end of the book, which has no formal termination, because the Acts of the Holy Spirit by the Church have continued throughout the Christian centuries and are not yet finished. There are some illustrious chapters still to be added by the pen of the angel scribes before the divine program is finished.

- quoted from F.B. Meyer Bible Commentary by Tyndale

May our hearts burn within us! Dear Holy Spirit, please teach us more!

Happy Easter!

I prayed before I read

It is amazing how quickly I dry out if I don't go back to my first love towards God. "A little later" becomes too familiar and pretty soon I feel like I am okay without my time with the LORD and my in-depth word study. I must be deceived!!! The study session time alone with God is my fun time and God tickles my heart, but I was a little concerned that I may look crazy to spend time in my closet - literally I turned one tiny closet into my room where I leave the Bible or other study materials open on the desk(board). Then my friend's words encouraged me. She seems to think that God is actually guiding me into this place of studying the word of God! She is a wonderful woman of God, so I trusted her words. Her words freed me. Wait for me, my closet, here I come!

My friends from my Scripture-memorizing group used to tell me that if we were stuck in one spot and couldn't go on while we were trying to memorize a certain section of the Bible, then God is trying to say something to us. Well, I was not memorizing Leviticus. I was just reading chapter 16 over and over because I was stuck there somehow. Then I remember to pray before dealing with God's precious words. It is God's words. My flesh alone cannot understand God's way. I am thankful God reminded me...again.

So...

In my closet I said a little prayer before I started with Leviticus chapter 16, and started writing down some meanings of the original words, using the Strong's numbers and dictionary. Ohh... wow... I didn't know the Hebrew word for the ark was "ארון (arown) ". It sounds like Moses' brother's name "Aaron"!

אהרון (Aharown) - Aaron's name
ארון (arown) - ark, box, chest...Ark of Covenant

The difference between Aaron and ark is the letter "H" just like Abram's and Sarai's names.

Abram + H = Abraham
Sarai + H = Sarah

Aaron is in the line of Levis. His name is an ark plus "H". I think I wrote about the letter H which I learned from Hebrew For Christians (www.hebrew4christians.com). Letter H in Hebrew indicates the presence of God. So if I can still apply this to Aaron's name, then...

ark + God's presence = Aaron, the Levi, the priest

Isn't it a perfect name for him!

Just wondering...

I was researching a certain topic and encountered with many different people's blogs and websites. Since I started to be interested in the original language, my eyes have been opened to see more people's websites with this topic. I feel like I am often changing my course of how I understand the word of God. Most recent change is from 'from Jewish point of view' to 'from the ancient Hebraic point of view.'

Why? I will write one example. If some animals are unclean to eat, I would think that it would be not-kosher. Kosher means ritually pure, fit, permissible, etc... If the Biblical unclean animals can be made permissible to eat by making it kosher somehow, would it become permissible because of the culture that developed over the long period of time? Can you really do that???
Then I realized how a pig was valued in the Leviticus days are very different in the 21st century. If I study the modern Jewish culture, it may not give me the accurate explanation of the Bible.

For example...
Right after I started to be familiar with some Hebrew words, I learned that the word 'Abba' was not Hebrew! It is Aramaic. But I heard some preachers (who studied Hebrew) say that it is Hebrew. Some people say that they heard little Jewish children say 'Abba' when they want their dad. I set this research aside for awhile because I didn't know what to think of it. Then I encountered with one website saying that the word 'Abba' used to be only in Aramaic, but in modern Hebrew language it is used as 'dad.' A-ha! Languages evolve. So if we learn from the modern Jewish culture, it may not give me the original meaning and intention.

So I thought that I need to go back to the original time and read the Bible through the ancient Hebraic point of view, and not form the modern Jewish point of view or from our own eyes in this time of the history in order to understand our God more. The Lord Jesus is for all of us who believe. I believe that. I am just curious to know more.

"But the Scriptures point to me! " says Jesus

“You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me! " John 5:39 (New Living Translation)

This scripture comes to my mind when I use my Torah pointer to read the Bible. Yes, it is called a Torah Pointer. I bought one for myself when I first started to be drawn to the Jewish culture woven into the scriptures. It was always my habit to follow the words using the back of a pen when I read the Bible. Then one day I happened to see a picture of a Jewish girl reading the Torah with something in her hand! It has a little hand and the index finger is pointing. I was so excited and did some research and found out what it was. Now I have one, and I like it a lot.

Easter is approaching. I amuse myself by reading Leviticus with this Torah pointer and think of what Jesus said.

“You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me!"

I wonder if there were any word-plays in the original text in this verse. Jesus was talking to the people who used the Torah pointer... Using the Torah pointer, especially when I read Leviticus, makes me ask myself to see if I am really reading the Bible as the living word or not.

Holy Spirit, speak to us today!

seder plate

Once my former employer took the girls from the office to Color Me Mine , which is a paint-your-own ceramic place, for our Christmas fun night and I happened to find this plate! I got excited and chose to paint this one. I was not very creative, and I wanted to stick with the plain dark blue color so it turned out to be like this. I like it a lot.






A few years ago before Passover I went back there by myself (because no one was available to go with me) and painted two more. I gave them to two of my friends who went to the Messianic church. It took me over two hours to finish! It was fun. Painting the plates and thinking about Jesus, the Bible, the Jewish people, and the Christian lives was a very happy time.

leaven is leaven

The following is a quote from this site, joy of baking.

The word "yeast" comes from the Sanskrit 'yas' meaning "to seethe or boil". Yeast is a living organism and is in the air around us. It is a member of the fungus family and is a single-celled fungi of which there are about 160 different species. Baker's yeast as well as brewer's yeast belong to the Saccharomyces cerevisiae species. Louis Pasteur in the 1850's is credited with first discovering and understanding the fermentation process which led to the development and cultivation of the yeast we use today.

Baker's yeast, like baking powder and baking soda, is used to leavened baked goods
(breads, Danish pastries, brioche, croissants). The difference between these two leaveners is that baking powder/soda react chemically to produce the carbon dioxide that makes the baked goods rise. Yeast, on the other hand, is a living organism and the carbon dioxide it produces is the result of the yeast feeding on the dough.

Here is a definition from dictionary.com.

leaven
–noun
1. a substance, as yeast or baking powder, that causes fermentation and expansion of dough or batter.
2. fermented dough reserved for producing fermentation in a new batch of dough.
3. an element that produces an altering or transforming influence.

There are two types of leaveners.

• yeast - a living organism, creates carbon dioxide by feeding on the dough
  

• baker's yeast - react chemically to produce the carbon dioxide and makes the bread rise
  

Just like other Christians, I have been wondering about yeast for a long time. Then last week as I came across a messianic website . God told the Israelites to get rid of the baker's yeast, a chemical reaction to cause baked goods rise, which is called khametz in Hebrew. It is any flour of the five species of grain, mixed with water and allowed to ferment before being baked. The five species of grain are wheat, spelt, oats, barley, and rye. Khametz, in reality, comes from a root which means "to be sour", according to Refiner's Fire (above mentioned website).

Then I suddenly remembered about one evening around 1988!

A friend of mine came over to give me something in a container. I cannot remember what she called it, but it was a bread starter. It was like some bread dough in a small container. She told me to use it to bake some bread and to save a portion of the new batch before I baked a loaf of bread. She said that this bread dough started long ago (sort of like chain letters??) and it hadn't been broken. She wanted me to give the saved portion to someone else so that the next person could do the same and give a new portion to another person. Just like #2 of the Dictionary.com definition:

2. fermented dough reserved for producing fermentation in a new batch of dough.

It looks like Amish people do this.

I am not starting any new religion by posting this, but I think now I can understand the concept of starting a brand new batch...without using a little batch (bread starter) from the old batch and mix it into the new batch. This was the beginning of the new life for the Israelites. God didn't want them to bring the old customs and start a totally new batch! I suspect if this was one of the reasons why God said:

Exodus 12:19 (New International Version)

¹⁹ For seven days no yeast is to be found in your houses. And whoever eats anything with yeast in it must be cut off from the community of Israel, whether he is an alien or native-born.

They were to be cut off from the community of Israel! God was very strict about this. God wanted to end the life in Egypt, the old life, for the people.

It can be said about us, too. Just like we are made a brand new christian when we believe in Jesus, the old cannot be there. We are brand new, born again. We took off our old clothes and wear a new one. New bread needs a brand new ingredients, not to be mixed with the old. To me the concept of 'old' can be better understood with the 'bread starter' method because if the yeast is everywhere in the air, I wouldn't know which one is old.

Matthew 16:5-6 (King James Version)

5And when his disciples were come to the other side, they had forgotten to take bread.
6Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.

Here's my thoughts. My friends' bread starter got started long time ago and it continued, adding little more of the new batch. Jesus didn't want us to continue our old way like Pharisees and the Sadducees' traditions. The law ended when Jesus came.

Galatians 3:19 " Why, then, was the law given? It was given alongside the promise to show people their sins. But the law was designed to last only until the coming of the child who was promised. God gave his law through angels to Moses, who was the mediator between God and the people."

Our Father is so wonderful. He wants to make us brand new. Jesus made it possible.

Jesus' words in John 14

As the springtime has come, I think of one of the words Jesus said to the disciples.

"In My Father's house there are many dwelling places (homes). If it were not so, I would have told you; for I am going away to prepare a place for you." John 14:2 (Amplified)

The verse just before this is the following.

"DO NOT let your hearts be troubled (distressed, agitated). You believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely on God; believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely also on Me." John 14:1 (Amplified)

One year it suddenly dawned on me that Jesus was talking to his Jewish disciples who already believed in God. He is telling them to believe also in him.

Lord Jesus, I do believe!

God was, is, and is to come.

God said to Moses "I AM who I AM." (Exodus 3:14)

The original word for "I AM" is הָיָה . It is pronounced haya.

I always imagined that the original word for "I AM" would be Jehovah because I had heard that Jehovah meant self-existing one, but the original word here is not Jehovah. Haya means to exist, breathes, etc... See Blue Letter Bible.
Yehovah (Jehovah) means existing one.

The other day I wrote that God is the same. He was, He is, and He is to come. John wrote that in the book of Revelation 1:4. In the letter to the Hebrews 13:8, it says that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and forever."

God existed, and he exists, and he will exist. That means he is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Is it written in the Old Testament? I could not find it. But the Jewish people say that God is "who was, is, and is to come." It is in Siddur Sim Shalom. I was wondering where in the Old Testament it said so. But now that I know the meaning of הָיָה (haya), I think that it is in the Hebrew language itself that explains God is who he was, is, and is to come. Doesn't it look like the meaning of הָיָה (haya) explains in itself that God was, is, and is to come? I think so!

The same God...old and new

I wake up, thanking God for another day. I shall live by His grace.

I praise the LORD who created the heavens and the earth, who made us in His image, who gave us freedom - we are free to choose to do the right things (even choose to love people my flesh doesn't really care for - because God loved us first - it is different from pretending), giving us the new insight to see things differently through His words (can't see right with only our own eyes, we need the Holy Spirit), who clothes the naked, who releases the oppressed and the bound, who raises the downtrodden, who provides all our needs, who guides us on our path, who encourages us (yes, our God is an encourager!), and who restores hope and vigor to the weary, mending the broken reed, causing dying wick to flame.

Isaiah 61 (New International Version)
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.

Aliens will shepherd your flocks; foreigners will work your fields and vineyards. And you will be called priests of the LORD, you will be named ministers of our God.

You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast.
Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. "For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity. In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them. Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the LORD has blessed." I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.

Jesus read this portion of Isaiah at church in Luke chapter 4.

17And there was delivered unto him the book of the prophet Esaias. And when he had opened the book, he found the place where it was written, 18The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, 19To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. 20And he closed the book, and he gave it again to the minister, and sat down. And the eyes of all them that were in the synagogue were fastened on him. 21And he began to say unto them, This day is this scripture fulfilled in your ears.

The New Testament is like a commentary for the Old Testament sometimes. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever so the NT is connected to the OT. I want my ears to hear what Jesus taught about the OT.

I sometimes get the feeling that people look down on the Old Testament. We modern Christians have a certain image of the Old Testament. The Bible is about our God who worked in the lives of Abraham, Elijah, Peter, Paul, etc... It is not about those people who walked with God.

So I read the Jewish prayer book with a fresh mind, using it as a way to understanding God more, and read it with my heart, and wrote my prayer based on it. That's what I wrote at the beginning of today's blog. If I didn't say so, no one can tell it is from the Jewish prayer book.

May it be about God and our Jesus, not about Jew or Gentiles...

"For we are one in Christ Jesus." (Galatians)

Exodus!! (Shemot)

After Jacob's life ends, the Israelites continue to live in Goshen, Egypt.

The word Exodus is Greek.

In the Hebrew Bible, Exodus is called "Shemot" and it means names. The first verse starts with "And these are the names," and that is why it is called "names," just like Genesis is titled Beresheet and it means "in the beginning." Genesis 1:1 starts like this: "In the beginning...."

Moses' mom put baby Moses in a basket of "ark" (KJV). The word ark is the same word used in the story of Noah, but the tar Moses' mom used is different from Noah's. I was guessing that they may be the same. Well, I was just wondering if the mom was praying that the God who saved Noah's life by putting him in the ark would save Moses by putting him in the basket of ark.

wise Joseph

Scriptures for today...

Now there was no food in all the land, for the famine was very severe, so that the land of Egypt and the land of Canaan languished by reason of the famine. - Genesis 47:13

"Give us food. Why should we die before your eyes? For our money is gone."-Genesis 47:15

It almost sounds like a lot of us, especially the second verse. Our money is gone, father!!

Then Joseph helped the people, and at the same time he made Egypt rich.

Only the land of the priests he did not buy, for the priests had a fixed allowance from Pharaoh and lived on the allowance that Pharaoh gave them; therefore they did not sell their land. - Genesis 47:22

This is happening before Moses' days. When did priests appear? I am not going back right now, but it is interesting to see that Joseph and Egypt left them untouched. God did not let the priest lose their land.

Here is an interesting verse.

"And at the harvests you shall give a fifth to Pharaoh, and four fifths shall be your own, as seed for the field and as food for yourselves and your households, and as food for your little ones."- Genesis 47:24

Fifty percent went to Pharaoh (tax?), forty percent was for the people (we get to use this for ourselves), which is totaled 90% of the harvests. Where is the ten percent? Interesting.



Being born in the times when my parents' generation had nothing (though some were rich), my parents worked hard, and my sister and I were well taken care of. Now I am a parent and my husband and I are the ones to take care of the next generation. It is very scary sometimes. Is my God my strength today? Sometimes I lose faith, but then I remember that He is mighty.

Alpha and Omega, Alef and Tav

I saw a very interesting thing in the Bible the other day.

In Genesis, there is a word that appears here and there and that word doesn't really have any meaning to it. You can see it in Genesis 1:1. It is the word את (et). It looks like people debate about it. They are trying to figure out what it is. The word has letters א (alef) and ת (tav). "What is this alef- tav?" is what they say. Alef is the very first letter in Hebrew. Tav is the very last letter in Hebrew. It is like alpha and omega in Greek.

I am trying to memorize a few chapters in the book of revelation. After I was in Genesis for awhile, I went back to the New Testament and read the book of revelation. Then I saw it.

"What is this alef-tav?" we ask.

Jesus said in the book of revelation, "I am the alpha and omega."
If Jesus said it in English, it would have been "I am the a and z."
If Jesus said it in Hebrew, it would have been "I am the alef and tav."
People say that the word made up of alef and tav in Genesis is Jesus, and I couldn't figure out why they could say that, but now I see it. What a joy we experience when we actually see something directly from the Bible and understand what others are saying!

What is this alef-tav?

"I am the alef and tav," says Jesus.

Audio Bible and memorizing scriptures

I have been listening to the Bible in the car. I am listening to the end of Genesis, and on to Exodus. The other day I was listening to the part where Joseph had a dream. Then I laughed when I heard what Jacob said to Joseph regarding the dream.

This time he told the dream to his father as well as to his brothers, but his father scolded him. “What kind of dream is that?” he asked. (Genesis 37:10, NLT)

How do you answer to the question, "What kind of dream is that?" Isn't it unreasonable to ask a question like that? No one can control dreams. I thought it was funny.


memorizing scriptures
When I memorize scriptures, I try all sorts of things like listening, typing, writing, even drawing so that they will stick to my heart and brain. I used to be scared of the fact that I was getting older and forget things more. Then I heard an old lady say that if you can't keep the water in a colander, dip the colander in the water and keep it there. I agreed! So I decided to keep my mind in the Scriptures whenever I could. It's a good thing.

Neither root nor branch

I read Malachi this week.

4:1 says,

"For the day is coming, burning like a furnace, when all the proud and evildoers will be stubble; the day that is coming will set them ablaze," says Adonai-Tzva'ot, "and leave them neither root nor branch. (Complete Jewish Bible)

Adonai Tzva'ot = The LORD of hosts


Leave neither root nor branch?! The Bible is not about Abraham, Isaiah, Paul, or John who walked with God, but it is about the LORD who walked with those people. God sent Jesus to the earth, and He still walks with people like us! I was excited about the root of Christianity, and I still am. I am happily grafted into the root, but the LORD our God sits on the most high place. He can set anything ablaze - either root or branch. This verse assures me that He is the one in control. He reveals Himself and shares his secrets to whomever He chooses to do so - from the root to the branch.

Whether I am loving the branch or the root, it is meaningless if I don't love God... and all of His commands can be summed up in one command: love your neighbor as yourself. (Galatians) It doesn't come naturally to me. I love being with other people, but I love being by myself, too.


Micah 6:8 (New International Version)

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

I spend a lot of time alone, or alone with God. My desire for this year is to love others a little more than before.

Judah means praise

When Leah had the fourth son, she named him Judah because she praised the LORD.

Genesis 29:35 And she conceived again, and bare a son: and she said, Now will I praise the LORD: therefore she called his name Judah; and left bearing.

Now will I praise the LORD = Judah

Exactly which part of the name is praise?


Both Christians and Jews say hallelujah (hallelu=praise, jah=LORD) to praise the LORD. Many people have heard that the word baruch (ch sound is like ch in Bach) means to bless. I thought Psalm 1 uses baruch for "How blessed is the one who ..." but to my surprise, the Hebrew word for the "blessed" in Psalm 1 is "asher" as in the name of Asher, which means happy. I even learned the word "tehilla" which means to praise with songs, like David wrote psalms. None of these sound anything like Judah. So I explored.

The Hebrew name for Judah is Yehuda. And it derived from yada which is related to hand. The following is from this website.

1.YADAH - yaw-daw - to worship with the extended hand. The giving of oneself in worship and adoration. To lift your hands unto the Lord. It carries the meaning of absolute surrender as a young child does to a parent - "pick me up, I'm all yours".

I still don't know how yadah became Yehuda. Anyone?
I see that the spelling of Yehuda is close to Yahweh (the Jewish people say Adonai whenever they see the word in the Bible), or Jehovah.

Sarah is in the name of Israel!!

Every year I get stuck in Genesis where Abraham's, Isaac's, and Jacob's lives are recorded because there is so much to ponder. But I successfully moved on to the next portion!! Then I saw something I never saw before.

Genesis 33:28 (NLT2007)
"Your name will no longer be Jacob," the man told him. "From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won."

El means God, but I what was the meaning of Israel? I could not answer that. So I looked up my Strong's concordance. Here is what I don't understand. I see something in my concordance to see the meaning of a word, then I get excited about what I see. Then I Google the same word to find out more, then I come up with different definitions and get disappointed. This happens a lot when I research Hebrew words. Anyway, below is from Biblos.com. I am glad I saw this on line!

Israel
From sarah and 'el; he will rule as God; Jisrael, a symbolical name of Jacob; also (typically) of his posterity: --Israel. (http://strongsnumbers.com/hebrew/3478.htm)

Sarah's name is in it! I never noticed it before. It is not Isra and el, but it is i + sarah + el. If a Hebrew reader reads my blog, I would love to know what the Jewish people's view/understanding/thoughts are regarding this. But for now, I keep my excitement in my heart, believing that God is showing me a new aspect of Genesis I never saw before. I learned that Sarah is the only female whose years of life is recorded in the Bible, and I now see that Sarah's life is continuing in Jacob"s life because her name is literally in the new name God gave to him. It is a special name for Jacob.

Joshua's name came to my mind immediately because I just did a little research a couple of months ago. Israel's "I" part is the Hebrew letter yod, which is the same letter that Moses added to Joshua's name (in Hebrew his name is Yehoshua), and the yod indicates God's name. Jacob's grandma's name Sarah (rule with power as a princess) is sandwiched between yod (indicating God's name) and -el (God).

God's name + rule with power as princess+ God = Israel.

My October 20th blog has a link to the story of the name of Joshua. Joshua's original name was Hosea, or, without "y" sound.

Numbers 13:16 (NIV)
These are the names of the men Moses sent to explore the land. (Moses gave Hoshea son of Nun the name Joshua.)

Moses gave the "y" part to him. And the letter was to protect Hosea (Hoshea) from the danger. If I combine the message from my blog from October and the story of Jacob, then it could mean that God wanted Jacob to know that he can choose to walk with God and if he did, then God is with him all the way to the victory. Doesn't God talk to us the same way now, too?

My favorite sky pictures

I love looking up the sky. These were all taken with my cell phone and my husband's camera.


I could climb out to the roof from the window of my room when I was growing up, and I used to go out there with a blanket in the winter time and stayed there for a long time, looking at the stars. Winter time is the best for looking at the stars because the sky is clearer. After I found God (or should I say after God found me, like Paul said in Galatians), I think of God and God-related things (like Abraham) when I look up at the sky - day or night. I am sure a lot of people think like me, too, that our God is a very creative artist.

Time to go on

Today is my special day.

Over twenty years ago I remember seeing Heald College and wondered what it would be like to start going there.

In Oct. 08 when I was laid off from my part time job and could not get another part time or full time job, I decided to go to get educated more through a diploma program.

The year 2009 was a blast! I thank God for the opportunity. I never thought I had a good brain, but I could do it because of Him. I embraced every hour of it. I loved even my homework.

I had so much fun at graduation for just being there and breathed in every moment of it this evening! As my friend said in another occasion, I was floating in God's grace.

Thank you, my Father.

Why I study Hebrew

The Little Mermaid story is a good illustration to explain my thoughts.

Ariel found a fork in a sunken ship she and her friend often visit to explore because she is interested in the human world. Forks are not used in her world so she went to her seagull friend who knows about the humans because he sees them from the sky. But the seagull couldn't figure out what it was, so he came up with the name "dinglehopper" which is used to comb hair. It fits Ariel's image and it actually works well as a comb!! So she accepted it as the truth until she actually tried to use it to comb her hair in the human world... Then of course she finds out that it was not for the hair.

I had some dinglehoppers I believed. Those were the teachings I learned without Jewishness. I don't want that any more. I want to know what is written, being guided by the Holy Spirit. Without the Spirit, the written words are dead. Jewishness seems to be ignored from the Christian world. Not everything has to be from Jewish point of view, but some things cannot be found without knowing the Jewish teachings. (One example is why Joshua's name was Hoshea at the end of Deuteronomy.)

I am writing this because I don't want to loose passion for Jesus and the Father who sent him to us.

Age of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob

I posted this longevity chart in November 2008 originally. As I was preparing for the Bible study group I attended at that time, I started to sidetrack and paid attention to Jacob's age because I noticed some websites say that Jacob was in his seventies when he met Rachel. Really???
I didn't notice it before. Let's see...

If Adam was born in the year 0 and if we continue counting according to the information from the Bible...

1948 Abraham was born
2048 Abraham 100 years old, Isaac was born
2108 Abraham 160, Isaac 60, Jacob and Esau were born
2123 Abraham was 175 when he died, that makes Isaac 75, Jacob and Esau 15

^{Genesis 26:34} When Esau was forty years old, he married Judith daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and also Basemath daughter of Elon the Hittite. ³⁵ They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah.

It is after this that Jacob disguised as Esau and went into Isaac's tent. Then Rebekah came up with another idea.

Genesis 27:46 Then Rebekah said to Isaac, "I'm disgusted with living because of these Hittite women. If Jacob takes a wife from among the women of this land, from Hittite women like these, my life will not be worth living."

So we can say that Jacob was at least 40 years old when he left home.

2148 Esau was married, 40 years old

After this is a little tricky. We have to go to the time when Jacob finally saw Joseph in Egypt and count backwards to figure out their ages. Then as we can see later, we learn that Jacob was 91 when Joseph was born.
If we simply counted the 7 + 7 years and deduct it from 91, that makes Jacob 77 years old when he met Rachel. Someone said that he was 77. But I am not sure about this because if Jacob was 77 when he met Rachel, all the other children (even though it was from 4 women) must have been born within 7 years.


We can say that Jacob was 91 when Joseph was born by calculating backwards from Genesis 41:46 and 45:11. (see scriptures below)

2199 Jacob 91, Joseph was born
2228 Isaac was 180 years when he died, Jacob 120, 　
Joseph 29

When we see Genesis 41:46, it says that

He was thirty years old when he began serving in the court of Pharaoh, the king of Egypt

2229 Joseph began serving in Egypt, 30 years old

Then 7 years of plenty came.
After 2 years into famine (Genesis 45:11 says "for there are still five years of famine ahead of us"), Jacob traveled to Egypt. So Joseph must have been 39 years old when he finally saw Jacob, who was 130 year old.

2238 Jacob 130 when he went to Egypt (speaking to Pharaoh in Genesis 47:9),　Joseph 39
2243 Famine ended

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our imagination

I used to think the Bible was talking about only one tree in the middle of the garden of Eden. I always thought that after Eve reached to the fruit from the forbidden tree and got kicked out of Eden, God protected that tree. Then later I found out that the tree of the knowledge of good and evil wasn't the tree God guarded later. It was the tree of life that was guarded. That means they used to eat from it freely. But the imagination in the brain was already painting my own picture, and I was not understanding the passage correctly. I should have paid attention to the facts. After I read carefully and got the facts, I could see it!
I am learning the same lesson here. Jacob's true age was somewhat shocking to me, but knowing the facts is important. Now I don't imagine a youthful man battling against an angel. He was in his nineties when that happened. ( I am sure the age 90 was not that old in those days, but still, 91 years old.)