Sunday, May 2, 2010

No more insecurity

Last week I went to a local church to participate in Ms. Beth Moore's simultaneous telecast. I had been stressed and feeling worn out, so I really, really looked forward to it. I needed something liberating and fun, and that was just what I did. I prayed, worshiped and my spirit was satisfied. I relaxed and listened, too. I was singing in the car again on my way home. Beth said that there were 300,000 women participating that morning! I was so glad to be a part of it. All these women's lives were changed by God through Beth's study. I know I am one of them. The topic was "So long, insecurity." Each of us matters Him. Sometimes we think God forgets us but that is not true. Beth's message is always encouraging.

I understood what she said. I am a changed person compared to several years ago because I separated myself from my insecurity. That happened when I felt alone and away from God. When I made a choice to do one thing, one Godly person was offended (because my choice of one thing automatically denied another thing even though I didn't mean to reject the other thing). I was devastated because I offended one Godly person and I felt like I was suddenly the enemy of her and her Godly friends. I felt like I was cut off from the Godly people I love. I didn't know where God stood in the situation at that time. I tend to hide and shy away and stand in distance to begin with and it is hard for me to claim to God that I don't have his support, but I desperately claimed that I was a child of God, too. I said that I knew God loved the person and her friends, but I am also God's child. As soon as I said that to God, I suddenly saw a picture in my mind. In my mind I stood up suddenly out of a wheelchair. The name of the wheelchair was "insecurity." I stood up out of a wheelchair called insecurity that day. I was not bound with insecurity any more because I was now sure that I was loved also. It was a very interesting experience.

I am still standing.

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