Friday, December 13, 2013

I am recovring at home.

God is amazing.
God is keeping me alive! His words are true.
Praise the LORD.

Friday, July 26, 2013

other people's ministries

I just found out that pastor Benny Hinn remarried to his ex-wife in March! (Oops I should watch the news sometimes...)  I am very happy for them. He proclaims Jesus boldly all over the world and a lot of people listen to him. I didn't think he would fall apart like that. I am sorry I didn't pray for his marriage but I am so glad other people around him did.  People talk badly about many tv evangelists but I like them. Why should I hate them? You don't have to listen to all of them... I don't.

I would rather listen to someone who is passionate about God than someone who always points out what is wrong with other ministries. I wish that those who point out other ministries' faults would preach what they believe passionately rather than comparing "wrong" ministries to theirs. Focus on your positive part, please!!

This is just my heart's cry.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

No doubt, no fear

The scan in February did not show anything on my rib. I kept telling the doctors that I was in pain but neither of them seemed to be concerned. They thought I might have cracked it...There was a new spot in my pelvic bone instead. My main oncologist sent me to a specialist in UC Davis. I wasn't going to do anything they might suggest but my husband and I went there to hear their opinion. I did not qualify for the trial medication at UC Davis because "the tumor was not big enough." It was good news.
I had a new spot in my brain according to the previous MRI.  We are watching the one in my brain.

In spite of all this I am happy now hat I am totally medicine free!!!

Now God's promise is really the only hope. There is nowhere else I can go to. I will still stick with my diet to care for my body. In the meantime, I keep walking with Him and talk to Him. As I read the healing scriptures and read/hear healing messages, I am building more relationship with God, and not just saying/reading/listening these words.

Then I had another MRI and PET on the same day just recently. How many times can a person do a PET scan??? This was my 10th one, I think... From the look of the nurse at the scan, I had a feeling the result was not good, and it wasn't. Cancer has spread once again.

The doctor wanted me to come in right away but I did not call him until the end of the day. I was at work when he left the message, and I wasn't going to let it upset me because I knew I was going to decline treatments. It turned out to be good to wait. As I was working at my desk, I had a chance to review God's promises in my mind and I remembered that from the beginning there was nothing the modern medicine could do. My doctors are super brilliant and kind, and they squeezed their brains and they cared for me. Thank you, doctors for all your efforts!! But now I must go on. Cancers usually try to come back. What am I going to do?


I am also learning about our incredible bodies. I apologized to my body for not caring for it properly. Now I want it to rest well from all the chemicals and radiations. I pray shalom over my body, and I pump in a lot of carrot juice. : )

I love the fact that one Christian doctor called the vegetable "lowly carrots." A lot of cancer patients use carrot juice and get better.  I think it is God's way!! God uses common things/people to perform miracles.

I am also reading a lot of books written by Dr. Toru Abo. He is a renowned immunologist and he said not to do chemo or radiation or surgery, and he also calls the cancer cells "WEAK."  He is not the only one who says to stay away from chemo or radiation. Dr. Hiromi Shinya, who is an MD in Japan and who also has a clinic in NY, also says the same thing. Well known people like Dustin Hoffman goes to see him.

My body has been ill, and now I am taking care of it better by doing good things to it. : )

Praise God who created our wonderful bodies.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Personalized Isaiah 41:10-

He tells me not to be afraid because he is all around me.
He tells me not to look around for help because He is my God.
He tells me he will not just strengthen me but he will also surround me and protect me, and he will even maintain me with his mighty hand.
I will behold those that were glowing in anger become pale.
They shall be non-existing, and my adversary shall be loosed and perish!
I shall seek them and shall not find them.
The adversary who was contending with me shall be non-existing.
My God tells me He is the one who will cleave to my right hand, commanding me, "Do not fear, I will help you."

To be honest, I have some pain and it was worst on the day I had another PET scan.
My heart is fixed on Jesus, though.
So I choose not to partner with fear. 

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

No diesease is seen

I was asking for NAD or NED. NAD stands for no active disease. NED stands for no evidence of disease. I held on to someone's chest x-ray report (without the personal information) which said, "unremarkable chest x ray."

I was asking God to let me hold the evidence like this in my hand.

I did it the other day.

It was not NAD or NED or "unremarkable chest x ray" because even though I could not see anything in the film, the doctor saw something. But it was scars.

It said "no acute process." My physician's assistant friend said it was the same as NAD!

The answer to my prayer quietly came to me on that day I got my report.

I am in awe. Thank you Jesus for your goodness, grace and loving kindness. Thank you for healing me. Everyday in past 2+ years has been an amazing miracle. I held an evidence in my hand!!!

X rays can't tell if one has cancer or not. But it was the x ray that showed something in the beginning. Now the mass is gone. The next scan will be in March 2013.

Thank you,


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Clear lung in X-ray

In 2010 an X-ray showed a mass in my lung which turned out to be stage IV lung cancer. The doctor said 6 months to 2 years to live, but my friends said not to receive what the doctor said. I googled stage IV lung cancer and many patients recommended not to think about the prognosis. I did many different things to cling to God more tightly than before because I don't see much good news for stage IV lung cancer patients in the medical world. But every single day God encouraged me in many different ways. Every single day I smiled and got up out of bed with much energy and went to work. I think it was amazing. In the beginning I had a lot of appointments. I used to get up extra early and went to work, went to appointments, and still worked 8 hours. Only God's encouraging power and prayers of family and friends and even strangers gave me ability to do it.

Today I had an x-ray. After all these expensive fancy scans and radiation and all that, I had an x-ray.

At the beginning I said to God I wanted to be free from cancer and from medication. I could see God was healing me, not instantly as I hoped, but gradually yet surely. I build up my confidence and faith more and more.  But I did not know how I could stop the medications I take via I. V. and orally.  The doctor said I would take them indefinitely. - I did not want to. Scan after scan showed the residue of tumor. It did not seem so active per scan but it was there, so the doctor did not want me to stop. Yet in my mind I was feeling like I need to stop the strong meds if I want to be well.

At church a friend of mine said,"Let's pray about that," and we did. Well, a couple of weeks later the oncologist said we can talk to the radiation oncologist and ask about CyberKnife possibility. The radiation oncologist seemed to have been waiting for me to come. I don't know how true it is but I felt like I sensed him expecting me. He asked me what I would expect from this. I said the cancer to be gone, and he said, "and?" so I said medicine free. He nodded because he knew that's what I said many months ago. He said my oncologist must agree with me, too. So they talked, and they must have agreed, and so I had the treatment done.

The x-ray looked clear. The doctor showed me one scan on one side and today's x-ray on the other side on the screen. The earlier one showed some cloudy part in the lung, but we did not see anything on today's. I hid the older one with my hand and asked the doctor what he would say about the x-ray if he did not see the other one. I was so excited so I don't remember exactly what he said but he said something like it would be a normal x-ray. He said to meditate on it as a Christmas gift or something like that.

Only God can time everything to work so good like this. I believe God. 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Moving on after CyberKnife

On Halloween Day I  had my first treatment.  The day before that the machine was not functioning well, and they postponed my schedule. If it was in the past, I would have worried about it, then I wouldn't have liked to start the treatment on Halloween! But I now know that God is much bigger than any of these things. A well-known evangelist in Africa once said he only felt the presence of the Lord when other people were feeling the evil spirits around them. All we need to know is God's presence!! All of a sudden I got nervous and my heart started to beat fast right before my first appointment, but a thought came to my mind and I was saying that over and over. In my heart I kept repeating "If I doubt God now, then that would mean I am putting Jesus on the cross again. If I doubt now, that would mean I am saying Jesus' cross was not sufficient."  Jesus' cross WAS and IS sufficient!! Who am I to argue that?? Then, I have to stick with the truth. Tears came down at first, but I was at peace. Now I am done with all 4 treatments. The radiation will keep working inside, and I will have an x-ray in December. God is reversing my condition. I don't know why some people are healed instantly and why some people take time to be healed, but in each step I decided to seek the Lord. It is about lifestyle of choosing to believe and clinging to Him.

Friday, October 19, 2012

cyberknife test

Today I went to my CyberKnife doctor's office. They tested and see if the robot will be able to catch the movement of my lung and the nodule. The doctor said we can go ahead and plan the treatment!

Only Jesus could have arranged this. From the very beginning when I needed help, I was already in a place where things just happened. Co-workers said over and over that I was at the right place at the right time. In the office was a doctor who is the wife of CyberKnife doctor. Otherwise I wouldn't have know about it, I don't think.

Galatians 5:1
So Christ has really set you free now make sure that you stay free and don't get tied up in the slavery to the Law.

I heard this on the radio today. The Christian radio station was reading this verse. My pride thought, "O I know this verse," but the Lord meant it at the moment because right after I thought this thought the scripture was read and it pierced my heart (like you have a crush on a movie star at the first sight). Now after I studied healing scriptures and learned from many people, this "Law" has more aspect than the Law I used to rules and regulations. Because the sickness is the curse of the law!! But Jesus carried all of it on the cross!! So He has done that, now I have to make sure that I stay free from the slavery to the law.  In this short verse God spoke to me a lot in the short time while I was at work. (I sometimes stay at work and I am all by myself because I am a data entry person, then I turn on the Christian radio station. )

Surely God's goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. (Psalm 23)

I thank God who is so gracious and powerful!!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I am hearing...

According to your faith the first one I noticed that was present in my mind lately. It might be God, I thought. Then I thought since I think God might be speaking to me, I should pray. So I prayed to God and told him what my heart's desire is.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

 I repeated this part over and over and over because I felt happy as I was saying it. Then it felt like I was prophesying over my life. : )  Everyone should try this.

The third one, which started to come in my mind today was "I do not share my glory with anything/anyone else." It was a funny timing because I just saw the radiation oncologist who told me the CyberKnife will most likely lead me to a total remission from cancer (used to be stage IV) and also to a freedom from medications!  And we are planning to have it done soon. I rejoice in God's ways. I take it as God's way. In the past I felt I was stuck with medication the rest of my life and I didn't know how I was going to be free from it. I asked my doctor many times to let me stop the meds to give my built-in immune system a chance to be strong again but he said no. But now CyberKnife will end all of it just like that! Who else could have led me to this path? I give glory to God!! Thank you, Jesus! There is truly power in Jesus' name.

He is the one who walked with me all this time and encouraged me.

with thanks,

Thursday, September 13, 2012

God's preferred-will to offer to the mankind - Revelation 4:11

 Revelation 4:11 (NIV)
“You are worthy, our Lord and God,
    to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
    and by your will they were created
    and have their being.”

Revelation 4:11 (KJV)

Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.

2307 thélēma (from 2309 /thélō, "to desire, wish") – properly, a desire (wish), often referring to God's "preferred-will," i.e. His "best-offer" to people which can be accepted or rejected.

I have trouble answering questions in a bible study often.  I don't know the answer and I don't know how people get the answer they get. I picked up a study book by Derek Prince. The very first question says, "For what purpose was the mankind created?" I was supposed to read Revelation 4:11. My Bible says it was His will. I struggle for awhile and I cheated and looked at the answer. The answer is "for His pleasure." Is his will the same as his pleasure? It must be. But how? I am not satisfied. I cannot go on! So I did some research!

Rev.4:11 says we were created for his pleasure in some translations. Others say we were created by His will.
Can we say his will = his pleasure?

I don't get it. I think there is a slight difference. I have difficulty using the word pleasure in this case. I think it is mainly because a lot of translations say "will." According to the link above, the word also means desire. If I were a translator, I might pick the word "desire." It was his desire. The link above explains that the word means His preferred-will to offer to the mankind. We can take it or leave it. My image of the word "pleasure" is like God is sitting on the throne and created people for entertainment. But after knowing that the original word for pleasure also means "His preferred-will to offer to the mankind" I feel very happy and alive.

It was his best offer, and his preferred will, and desire to create our existence for Him. Let's take it!  I take it!