I just finished my last chemo at the beginning of this month, and went back to the oncologist's office for the routine blood check a week later. The blood test results looked as if my body was going back to normal. It just must be! I thought I was wrong, but I was correct when I said that the blood test result which was done one week after the last chemo was one of the best ones! Is it because medicine is getting more sophisticated like some people told me? Or is it a miracle? It IS God! Even the radiologist told me a few weeks ago that I was doing much better than the average patients. Praises are due to God. I say "Hallelu-jah!" I have to admit my mouth tasted funny for one week or so, and I had to keep resisting the little voice saying to me that I am not getting any better and I maybe getting worse, but I have learned that I can resist the thoughts that are not aligned with the word of God. Those thoughts feel as if they are the truth and real, but they are to be resisted.
Before the last chemo, I remembered to pray for myself, using the scripture from Mark, the one that starts with "these signs shall follow those who believe..." Whenever I was about to go in for a chemo, either in the tape of healing message I am listening to or in the book of healing I was reading contained this scripture and it reminded me to pray that prayer. Then I would lay my hand on myself and pray, believing that God is protecting me from any harm from chemo. From the beginning of the chemo therapies, somehow this scripture came to me, but this time it seemed like it didn't. Then I said to God, "You did not send this scripture this time." And I felt like God said, "Because you already got it."
About laying hands on myself
One of my long-time favorite quote from F.B Meyers' Bible commentary is this:
(Genesis where Joseph was sold into Egypt).
I posted this on my facebook and God's divine timing came.
"... but God knows that you are there and times the moments. Only continue to trust and do not be afraid! Blessed are they that believe; to them there shall be precise provision. Months ago a caravan started, which will arrive at the precise hour when intervention will best serve you."
When I found out there was a big mass in my lung Pastor Che Ahn came to The River in Fresno. My son wanted to take me, and he took me there. I had been to this church when it was under a different name and a different pastor many years ago, and I met Pastor Che there. Then I wondered around to many different places because of many reasons for many years and I tried to fit in, but I never did. Coming back to this place that night was as if I came to a full circle and now back to where I was, except that this time I knew I wanted to be free and be where my relationship with God is strengthened. A part of me was saying that since my life may not be long, I might as well go where the spirit leads me. The truth is, I should live like that (not to be selfish but to be free in Christ) to begin with. I was excited when Pastor Che said that he was not planning to come to Fresno. The reason he was here was because his international trip got canceled, and he had time to come. Divine timing!
His message that I heard (other people might have heard it differently) was that we should be able to pray on our own and not to wait for a great evangelist to come into town. At first I was disappointed but soon I understood and I agreed. ( Yet even after that service I asked him to pray for me. And he did. ) His message taught me to be strong and believe that I have the power and authority to pray for the sick, including myself. I learned to lay hands on me on that night. He had everyone put their hands on themselves.
Thank you, Papa.