Saturday, April 28, 2012

my heart is fixed (Psalm 112:7)

Psalm 112:7

King James Version (KJV)
 7He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD.

This was in the devotional. What a good timing! As I was meditation on the words, then I realized I had to overcome my bad expectations in my heart. I say I believe then why do I worry about the bad news? The medical world clearly doesn't have an answer for me according to the doctors. And they are specialists and they are truly brilliant people. I had to fix my heart to trust the LORD. I almost did not want to have the scan done any more. I remembered reading Dodie Osteen did not go back for a check up while she was recovering.

The scan result
The result of the scan showed some illumination in my bone, though better. The tumor in the lung is still there. The doctor says "Let's keep doing the same treatment (maintenance med, not chemo)." We will keep doing the same thing. My hope is to quit the strong meds. I was somewhat disappointed at the appointment, to be honest, but when I came home and started reading the scan report word by word, I was more encouraged. The bone lesions are responding to the treatment from January, and the tumor in the lung is the same, stable. My PA friend explained to me that it must be covered by scar tissues because the doctor who read the scan did not call it "tumor." He called it "fibrosis" and "scarring tissue."

In the meantime I will keep moving with the LORD, clinging to Him. It is the fact that He is taking care of me. Everyday is a miracle day. Even at work I do my best to live and know that the LORD is God. I am not a preacher or teacher or ministry coordinator or anything like that, but the best I can do right now is to know that the LORD is God.

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