18 and the LORD sent you on a mission, and said, 'Go and utterly destroy the sinners, the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are exterminated.' 19 "Why then did you not obey the voice of the LORD, but rushed upon the spoil and did what was evil in the sight of the LORD ?" - I Samuel 15:17-19
I have been in this waiting mode for awhile after chemo is done, and sometimes my mind tries to imagine something negative. I have been learning to fight and to stay under God's favor but one day I almost accepted that I will start deteriorating, then the LORD spoke to me through these verses as if to say, "I told you I will heal you completely but why are you now turning away from it?" That is right!! I received so many promises and why then do I doubt him now? I repented. God is always ready to reach out to me.