Friday, December 24, 2010

God is the one we should fear.

After chemo is over (because that was all the doctor could do) and now I am moving on to the maintenance treatment, I was feeling alone and a little worried about my body. When I worry, I know that is when I am not reading enough words. While I was receiving a treatment (not chemo) at the doctor's office last week, I read these words in the Bible.
"The Lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does. He said, “Don’t call everything a conspiracy, like they do, and don’t live in dread of what frightens them. Make the Lord of Heaven’s Armies holy in your life. He is the one you should fear. He is the one who should make you tremble. He will keep you safe." (Isaiah 8:11-14a, NLT) 
 !!!
It is a strong warning. I told myself to be strong because the only one to fear is the LORD of hosts.
Our God is a wonderful Counselor, a mighty King!

Thursday, December 23, 2010

A song from Yentl

Papa...

By accident I fell in love with this movie. Even when Yentl married to another lady, I thought it was brilliant that the "husband" Yentl drew the best out of the bride as she taught her to be free.  I love the ending of the movie, too. Why settle for one piece of sky from the window when the whole sky is out there? The song echoes in my heart.

The sickness caused me to look at the life differently even though I still don't think God gave me the sickness. My journey continue to be more free.

"Papa, watch me fly!!!"

Friday, December 17, 2010

Christmas present from God

The full chemo therapy started after CyberKnife in September 2010. I did chemo twice, then another CT scan. The scan showed that the tumor shrunk some.

Two more chemo, then another CT scan and a PET scan.

Mark 16:17-19 (King James Version)

 17And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
 18They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
 19So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God.

There is a confirmation to it which I didn't notice until recently. These words are for those who are going out to preach the good news, but it certainly encouraged an ordinary person like me and it fit my journey of receiving healing.
 20And they went forth, and preached every where, the Lord working with them, and confirming the word with signs following.
This "confirming" part came to me today.

The PET showed that the liver, lymph and the bones are clear, and the tumor is now 1 inch diameter! Here is what the report says.

"There has been significant interval decrease in size..."

"Evidence of mediastinal lymphadenopathy and metastatic disease to the liver has shown complete resolution."


!!!!!!!!

Thank you, Papa!!



I have been taking my case to the LORD.
So many people are praying for me and my family. I am in awe. They really pray for me and I am humbled.
As I seek healing and choose to live, I came across these words from one of the books my husband and I are reading.

The heart of the gospel is not healing. The heart of the gospel is not signs and wonders. The heart of the gospel is not even the anointing of the Holy Spirit. The heart of the gospel is Jesus Christ. It is only as we clearly proclaim Christ first and foremost that we will experience signs and wonders following.                      ~ Mahesh Chavda
Amen!

There is great power in the simple message of "Jesus Christ and Him crucified."
                                                                     ~Mahesh Chavda

Amen!

Jesus is my Lord and Savior. He gives me life, and He makes me whole.

Monday, December 13, 2010

"It is in the blood!" ( revised )

...is what my friend said when she read what I wrote on my facebook. I wrote that my blood count was very good even after the chemo therapies.

I just finished my last chemo at the beginning of this month, and went back to the oncologist's office for the routine blood check a week later. The blood test results looked as if my body was going back to normal. It just must be!  I thought I was wrong, but I was correct when I said that the blood test result which was done one week after the last chemo was one of the best ones!  Is it because medicine is getting more sophisticated like some people told me? Or is it a miracle? It IS God! Even the radiologist told me a few weeks ago that I was doing much better than the average patients. Praises are due to God. I say "Hallelu-jah!"  I have to admit my mouth tasted funny for one week or so, and I had to keep resisting the little voice saying to me that I am not getting any better and I maybe getting worse, but I have learned that I can resist the thoughts that are not aligned with the word of God. Those thoughts feel as if they are the truth and real, but they are to be resisted.

Before the last chemo, I remembered to pray for myself, using the scripture from Mark, the one that starts with "these signs shall follow those who believe..." Whenever I was about to go in for a chemo, either in the tape of healing message I am listening to or in the book of healing I was reading contained this scripture and it reminded me to pray that prayer. Then I would lay my hand on myself and pray, believing that God is protecting me from any harm from chemo.  From the beginning of the chemo therapies, somehow this scripture came to me, but this time it seemed like it didn't. Then I said to God, "You did not send this scripture this time." And I felt like God said, "Because you already got it."



About laying hands on myself

One of my long-time favorite quote from F.B Meyers' Bible commentary is this:
(Genesis where Joseph was sold into Egypt).

"... but God knows that you are there and times the moments. Only continue to trust and do not be afraid! Blessed are they that believe; to them there shall be precise provision. Months ago a caravan started, which will arrive at the precise hour when intervention will best serve you."

I posted this on my facebook and God's divine timing came.
When I found out there was a big mass in my lung Pastor Che Ahn came to The River in Fresno. My son wanted to take me, and he took me there. I had been to this church when it was under a different name and a different pastor many years ago, and I met Pastor Che there. Then I wondered around to many different places because of many reasons for many years and I tried to fit in, but I never did. Coming back to this place that night was as if I came to a full circle and now back to where I was, except that this time I knew I wanted to be free and be where my relationship with God is strengthened. A part of me was saying that since my life may not be long, I might as well go where the spirit leads me. The truth is, I should live like that (not to be selfish but to be free in Christ) to begin with. I was excited when Pastor Che said that he was not planning to come to Fresno. The reason he was here was because his international trip got canceled, and he had time to come. Divine timing!
His message that I heard (other people might have heard it differently) was that we should be able to pray on our own and not to wait for a great evangelist to come into town. At first I was disappointed but soon I understood and I agreed. ( Yet even after that service I asked him to pray for me. And he did. ) His message taught me to be strong and believe that I have the power and authority to pray for the sick, including myself. I learned to lay hands on me on that night. He had everyone put their hands on themselves.

Thank you, Papa.

Friday, December 10, 2010

these signs shall follow...

Mark 16:17-20 (King James Version)


 17And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
 18They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
 19So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God.
 20And they went forth, and preached every where, the Lord working with them, and confirming the word with signs following. Amen.