Thursday, August 4, 2011
August 4th, 2011
I saw my radiology tech for PET scan for the fourth time today. I remember the very first PET scan for my body. The tech looked very solemn from the distance and did not even look at me after the first scan. I felt like it was not so good. Today I went in as a very healthy person even though I don't have the proof yet. But everyday since I was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer, I have been doing good. It has been an amazing journey. Our God is an awesome God. He is good. All Jesus did was the Father's will. Jesus always healed people.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Advanced case of leprosy - Luke 5:12
This was the scripture for my devotional today. God can heal even the advanced case of leprosy!
Luke 5:12-13
New Living Translation (NLT)
Jesus Heals a Man with Leprosy
12 In one of the villages, Jesus met a man with an advanced case of leprosy. When the man saw Jesus, he bowed with his face to the ground, begging to be healed. “Lord,” he said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.” 13 Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” And instantly the leprosy disappeared.Thursday, July 21, 2011
癒しの祈りは続く。。。/ my healing prayer continues...
５０肩らしき痛みが去年から直らないので今日専門家にいきました。
昨日はPhysical Therapy.
今日のアポではレントゲンをとり、その画面を先生が見せてくれました。そのとき肩はなんともおもわなかったけど、そのとなりに例のTumorがはっきりくっきり写っていて、そんなにはっきり見えたのははじめてだったので思わず見入ってしまいました。
シーンとした肺の中にじっとしていたかたまり。
もっともっとしっかりとイエス様のところに、そして御言葉の上にたとうと、心を新たにした日でした。
I went to a physical therapy yesterday for a frozen shoulder. It has been going on since lase December. It hurt a lot and I asked her to stop at the therapy! Then I went to an orthopedist today. They took an X-ray of my right shoulder. When the doctor showed me the X-ray on the computer screen, my eyes were glued to the tumor in my lung. I could see it clearly due to the location of the tumor. I had never seen it so clearly. It looked like it was floating silently in my lung. I renewed my vow to keep standing on Jesus and the word of God again.
God's word will never fail.
昨日はPhysical Therapy.
今日のアポではレントゲンをとり、その画面を先生が見せてくれました。そのとき肩はなんともおもわなかったけど、そのとなりに例のTumorがはっきりくっきり写っていて、そんなにはっきり見えたのははじめてだったので思わず見入ってしまいました。
シーンとした肺の中にじっとしていたかたまり。
もっともっとしっかりとイエス様のところに、そして御言葉の上にたとうと、心を新たにした日でした。
I went to a physical therapy yesterday for a frozen shoulder. It has been going on since lase December. It hurt a lot and I asked her to stop at the therapy! Then I went to an orthopedist today. They took an X-ray of my right shoulder. When the doctor showed me the X-ray on the computer screen, my eyes were glued to the tumor in my lung. I could see it clearly due to the location of the tumor. I had never seen it so clearly. It looked like it was floating silently in my lung. I renewed my vow to keep standing on Jesus and the word of God again.
God's word will never fail.
Monday, July 11, 2011
How we live, according to Deuteronomy 30:6
And the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your offspring, so that you will love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, that you may live. - Deuteronomy 30:6
I don't know exactly how God will circumcise my heart, but I understand that it is the matter of the heart and not the outward "Christian" things we do. Just like what Jesus teaches us. Where the Law says not to murder, Jesus says that hating someone is not different from killing someone. Law could hide your heart. Our hearts don't have to be involved when we deal with Law. God wants us to open our hearts.
circumcision of our hearts =
enables us to love God with all our hearts and souls=
we begin to live (really live)
The enemy wants to destroy and kill, but Jesus came to give us life.
my understanding of Exodus 15:26
If you diligently, diligently listen/harken
to the voice of the LORD your God
and do what is right in his sight
and give ear/listen/weigh/ponder/give good heed
to what he says
and hedge about/protect all his bound (=engraved law)
I will cause NONE of the diseases/infirmities upon you,
which I cast in upon the Egyptians;
for I am the LORD Rapha who make you whole/heal.
God loves us so much.
I still don't understand where to draw a line and how to read the law in the OT after knowing Jesus but I see the Father's heart that loves us so much even in the law.
to the voice of the LORD your God
and do what is right in his sight
and give ear/listen/weigh/ponder/give good heed
to what he says
and hedge about/protect all his bound (=engraved law)
I will cause NONE of the diseases/infirmities upon you,
which I cast in upon the Egyptians;
for I am the LORD Rapha who make you whole/heal.
God loves us so much.
I still don't understand where to draw a line and how to read the law in the OT after knowing Jesus but I see the Father's heart that loves us so much even in the law.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Chicago, here I am!
I am in Chicago to attend a wedding.
When we were informed of this wedding last summer, I was at the beginning of my journey to fight against cancer. I was wondering what condition I would be in. I was not sure if I would be able to go. Since then I learned that it was God's will for me to be healed, I was to keep believing the word of God, I was to know the word of God so that faith would come, and I believed. There is no proof that the cancer is gone yet but I keep believing.
And I am in Chicago. It is amazing. I took 2 days off from work!
I was a little nervous to travel. I am physically fine, so there is no reason to be afraid, but I was a little nervous. Then I saw 2 feathers today. They suddenly came to my sight in the air. I had fun experiences with feathers in the past, so they remind me of God's encouragement. I smiled when I saw them. God is with me. God is so gracious!
When we were informed of this wedding last summer, I was at the beginning of my journey to fight against cancer. I was wondering what condition I would be in. I was not sure if I would be able to go. Since then I learned that it was God's will for me to be healed, I was to keep believing the word of God, I was to know the word of God so that faith would come, and I believed. There is no proof that the cancer is gone yet but I keep believing.
And I am in Chicago. It is amazing. I took 2 days off from work!
I was a little nervous to travel. I am physically fine, so there is no reason to be afraid, but I was a little nervous. Then I saw 2 feathers today. They suddenly came to my sight in the air. I had fun experiences with feathers in the past, so they remind me of God's encouragement. I smiled when I saw them. God is with me. God is so gracious!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Power of God to face Monday
I received God's power to face Monday after I attended the conference with Graham Cooke and Christa Black! My shoulder is getting healed. I can tell that it is getting better all of a sudden (yet gradually).
My shoulder injury seems to be related to how I feel about the office. It was getting negative. But God's ways are always right. Overcoming evil with good is the right path. Now I am taking one more step forward towards more freedom. I used to start feeling nervous on Sunday afternoon thinking about the pressure at work, even though I like the job, but this Sunday was different. I choose not to follow the path of how I feel. Black Monday cannot get me now.
Hallelujah.
My shoulder injury seems to be related to how I feel about the office. It was getting negative. But God's ways are always right. Overcoming evil with good is the right path. Now I am taking one more step forward towards more freedom. I used to start feeling nervous on Sunday afternoon thinking about the pressure at work, even though I like the job, but this Sunday was different. I choose not to follow the path of how I feel. Black Monday cannot get me now.
Hallelujah.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Faith revived with David Wilkrson's last message
The MRI result showed that I had adhesive capsulitis, bursitis, and tendinopathy.
I have been praying for my right shoulder but it is painful. I have a lot of stress at work, too. I am being negative. Lord, what should I do about my shoulder? I wake up in the middle of the night, weeping due to the stress from work. The shoulder pain does not help.
I was at the oncologist's office again, receiving the maintenance medication last Thursday. I was feeling very worn out. I was asking myself where the joy of the LORD was. I didn't have it. I was shocked. I reached to the newsletter in my purse. I was desperately trying to find the LORD's way again, then suddenly it came.
Mr. David Wilkerson
Why do I forget that God' specialty is to give us hope when there seems to be no hope.
仕事がヘビーで超スピードでタイプをうちまくっていたら肩が１月あたりから痛くなり、そのうち直るだろうと思っていたら腕があがらなくなってしまいました。癌が見つかった肺と近いので主治医にそうだんしたら、MRIをオーダーしてくれました。で、結局四十肩とか五十肩とかいうものなのだとおもいます。（ちゃんと調べてない） 祈っていたし、人にも祈ってもらってるけれど同じ感じでした。MRIのあたりからなんか直ってきたみたいだけど、今度はますます腕があがらなくなってます。主よ、どうしましょう。。。と祈りながら、悲しんでいきました。仕事のストレスもすごくて（なんか意地悪されてるみたいに思えた）先週は夜中に急に目がさめて大なきをしてました。仕事のことを考えて。いままでの主からの喜びはどこへ行ったのかと、自分でも驚きです。どこにもない！！でも一生懸命探したら、答えがやってきました。先週のアポイントメントのときにDavid Wilkersonさんの最後のDevotional をよんでたら、どーんと来ました。主以外に希望はない！！ しってるはずなのに、突然新しい出来事のように私に教えてくれた言葉。これこそ生きた神様のメッセージだと思いました。そして受け取りました。 イエス様、ありがとうございます。
I have been praying for my right shoulder but it is painful. I have a lot of stress at work, too. I am being negative. Lord, what should I do about my shoulder? I wake up in the middle of the night, weeping due to the stress from work. The shoulder pain does not help.
I was at the oncologist's office again, receiving the maintenance medication last Thursday. I was feeling very worn out. I was asking myself where the joy of the LORD was. I didn't have it. I was shocked. I reached to the newsletter in my purse. I was desperately trying to find the LORD's way again, then suddenly it came.
Mr. David Wilkerson
Why do I forget that God' specialty is to give us hope when there seems to be no hope.
仕事がヘビーで超スピードでタイプをうちまくっていたら肩が１月あたりから痛くなり、そのうち直るだろうと思っていたら腕があがらなくなってしまいました。癌が見つかった肺と近いので主治医にそうだんしたら、MRIをオーダーしてくれました。で、結局四十肩とか五十肩とかいうものなのだとおもいます。（ちゃんと調べてない） 祈っていたし、人にも祈ってもらってるけれど同じ感じでした。MRIのあたりからなんか直ってきたみたいだけど、今度はますます腕があがらなくなってます。主よ、どうしましょう。。。と祈りながら、悲しんでいきました。仕事のストレスもすごくて（なんか意地悪されてるみたいに思えた）先週は夜中に急に目がさめて大なきをしてました。仕事のことを考えて。いままでの主からの喜びはどこへ行ったのかと、自分でも驚きです。どこにもない！！でも一生懸命探したら、答えがやってきました。先週のアポイントメントのときにDavid Wilkersonさんの最後のDevotional をよんでたら、どーんと来ました。主以外に希望はない！！ しってるはずなのに、突然新しい出来事のように私に教えてくれた言葉。これこそ生きた神様のメッセージだと思いました。そして受け取りました。 イエス様、ありがとうございます。
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Dreams I had during chemo
First dream
I started to run away from a place that looked like a death house. I wrote about it somewhere in this blog. It was right before the first chemo therapy.
Second dream
My husband was having me listen to some messages from The Bethel church in Redding, California. One of them was about a girl who can get a new body part for the person she is praying for. Then one night I had a dream. I was standing and looking up at the light blue sky with some clouds. I didn't know where it was. Then suddenly 2 right lungs came down and stopped in the middle of the air. (The cancer had been identified in my right lung.) I could feel someone was standing next to me. After I stared at those two lungs for a short while, I said, "What am I doing? I need to grab the good lung!" (One was good, and the other was a bad lung.) I reached for the good lung, and I woke up.
Third dream
I was standing at a festival or something. Booths are there, and suddenly I was standing in front of a small table where a man was performing some kind of card magic. He moved his hands fast and something was done, but I didn't know what he did. Then the man said to me, "Didn't you get it? It means your liver is clear."
Some weeks later I received good news from the radiologist. The liver, lymph, and the bones were clear, and the size of the tumor decreased.
Benny Hinn
I decided to watch Benny Hinn one evening because I wanted to see some people healed and be encouraged. Have you heard of anyone placing hands on the screen with those TV evangelists and people are saved? I have. I thought I would try. (I know some people would laugh at me but I just thought I would try.) I knelt in front of the TV screen, placed my hands on the screen over Benny Hinns. He says, "Hmmm...Someone is healed from Lung cancer..." Then he went on to say the person's name, and it was not mine. But you know what! This year I learned that I can received the crumbs that come off of the table, too. Immediately I said to myself , "I would take it!" Through Benny Hinn or through Presbyterian's and Lutheran's faithful prayers, God can heal.
Yet another dream
I am still new to the church I attend. They are praying that more healing will happen at the church. They want to love God and love people. One of the pastors had said that he has not seen anyone healed after he prayed for them. He wants to see healing right in front of his eyes. I do, too. I appreciated his honesty. One Sunday morning I was wondering if I am going to that church or not (because my family goes somewhere else), then suddenly the pastor's serious face appeared right in front of me while I was asleep. I felt like maybe I was supposed to ask him to pray for me. I felt like it was God's way - using someone who said none had been healed after he prayed. God is full of grace! When I stood in front of him, he immediately said, "I had been looking for you." I knew I did the right thing that morning.
I started to run away from a place that looked like a death house. I wrote about it somewhere in this blog. It was right before the first chemo therapy.
Second dream
My husband was having me listen to some messages from The Bethel church in Redding, California. One of them was about a girl who can get a new body part for the person she is praying for. Then one night I had a dream. I was standing and looking up at the light blue sky with some clouds. I didn't know where it was. Then suddenly 2 right lungs came down and stopped in the middle of the air. (The cancer had been identified in my right lung.) I could feel someone was standing next to me. After I stared at those two lungs for a short while, I said, "What am I doing? I need to grab the good lung!" (One was good, and the other was a bad lung.) I reached for the good lung, and I woke up.
Third dream
I was standing at a festival or something. Booths are there, and suddenly I was standing in front of a small table where a man was performing some kind of card magic. He moved his hands fast and something was done, but I didn't know what he did. Then the man said to me, "Didn't you get it? It means your liver is clear."
Some weeks later I received good news from the radiologist. The liver, lymph, and the bones were clear, and the size of the tumor decreased.
Benny Hinn
I decided to watch Benny Hinn one evening because I wanted to see some people healed and be encouraged. Have you heard of anyone placing hands on the screen with those TV evangelists and people are saved? I have. I thought I would try. (I know some people would laugh at me but I just thought I would try.) I knelt in front of the TV screen, placed my hands on the screen over Benny Hinns. He says, "Hmmm...Someone is healed from Lung cancer..." Then he went on to say the person's name, and it was not mine. But you know what! This year I learned that I can received the crumbs that come off of the table, too. Immediately I said to myself , "I would take it!" Through Benny Hinn or through Presbyterian's and Lutheran's faithful prayers, God can heal.
Yet another dream
I am still new to the church I attend. They are praying that more healing will happen at the church. They want to love God and love people. One of the pastors had said that he has not seen anyone healed after he prayed for them. He wants to see healing right in front of his eyes. I do, too. I appreciated his honesty. One Sunday morning I was wondering if I am going to that church or not (because my family goes somewhere else), then suddenly the pastor's serious face appeared right in front of me while I was asleep. I felt like maybe I was supposed to ask him to pray for me. I felt like it was God's way - using someone who said none had been healed after he prayed. God is full of grace! When I stood in front of him, he immediately said, "I had been looking for you." I knew I did the right thing that morning.
Friday, May 27, 2011
I need the presence of God
Mahesh Chavda
When the doctor remineds me that the maintenance medicine will stop working eventually, that I will die sooner or later, I ran fast to my Father tonight. I resist the doctor's words and tried to wipe them off of my mind. I am not ignoring the fact that I am on the maintenance medicine, but I would rather acknowledge the promise of God. The only way I can be delivered from those unwanted words from the doctor and from the stress of work is to run to the Father's presence. I went to Mahesh Chavda's youtube, which I found the other day, and remained in the presence of God in the film for awhile.
The glory of God is present if we ask for it. My Father's promise is still good. His words will not go back to Him in vain. They always accomplish their purpose. Our strength is in the presence of the glory of God.
主治医が 薬が効かなくなるのも時間の問題だ～と軽く言った時 彼から背を向けて父なる神様の元に走りよりました。彼の言葉を頭に残しておきたくない！開放されるには神様の臨在の中にいくしかないと知っているから、走りました。このYOUTUBEは以前みつけてお気に入りにしてあります。この場の力を借りて暫くその中にじっとして神様のそばにいました。
そして力をいただいたのです。神様の言葉に偽りはないのです。
When the doctor remineds me that the maintenance medicine will stop working eventually, that I will die sooner or later, I ran fast to my Father tonight. I resist the doctor's words and tried to wipe them off of my mind. I am not ignoring the fact that I am on the maintenance medicine, but I would rather acknowledge the promise of God. The only way I can be delivered from those unwanted words from the doctor and from the stress of work is to run to the Father's presence. I went to Mahesh Chavda's youtube, which I found the other day, and remained in the presence of God in the film for awhile.
The glory of God is present if we ask for it. My Father's promise is still good. His words will not go back to Him in vain. They always accomplish their purpose. Our strength is in the presence of the glory of God.
主治医が 薬が効かなくなるのも時間の問題だ～と軽く言った時 彼から背を向けて父なる神様の元に走りよりました。彼の言葉を頭に残しておきたくない！開放されるには神様の臨在の中にいくしかないと知っているから、走りました。このYOUTUBEは以前みつけてお気に入りにしてあります。この場の力を借りて暫くその中にじっとして神様のそばにいました。
そして力をいただいたのです。神様の言葉に偽りはないのです。
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