Pastor Bill Johnson in Redding, Ca., said that Jesus did not say, "I cannot pray for healing because I think God is teaching you a lesson through this sickness." It is an incredible truth. I have been reminding myself that Jesus healed "all." God is not teaching me something in this sickness. God did not send this to me. That is why I can fight and keep going to God in prayer. I also keep asking for prayer. It is perfectly OK with God.
Jesus also healed Peter's mother-in-law and she got up and started serving. I told God that I would like to serve and love my family. I have been given the energy to work in the kitchen more and more. I didn't cook for awhile but now I am cooking again for my family.
If I believe that I am saved because of what the Lord has done for me, then, why not believing in healing because of what the Lord has done?
The truth is setting me free.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
I enjoyed the movie Yentl.
I loved the movie Yentl.
Since I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer in September and the purpose of the treatment is to keep me alive longer (medically speaking), my focus has been Jesus, first of all, then the Scripture, eating (to stop loosing weight), and working and living. By God's grace and many people's prayer I am doing well. Last night I happened to watch Yentl and I was drawn to it. I loved it. It is a little strange story but I understand Yentl who wanted to be free to be herself. God designed us to be us. It brought back my passion to study the Bible more! Praise God. I am also happy that I am doing fun things like enjoying a movie.
I had a healing dream last night. Jesus, I trust in YOU.
ステージ４の癌（＝末期）と診断され、しかも治療の目的は治すためではなく私の体を少しでも長く地上に生かしておくためということになｔってから、私の生活の目的は まずイエス様、そして聖書、食事（体重がこれ以上減るのを防ぐため)、仕事、そして生きるという風になりました。大変そうに聞こえて、事実大変なんだけど、毎日仕事にいってて見た目は普通の生活なんだけど、中身は”生きる”ために生きています。そして神様のめぐみと、多くの人たちのお祈りのおかげで私は元気にしています。 昨夜たまたまYentlという映画を見てとても惹かれてしまいました。生きるために一生懸命だったし、そういう風にテレビを見て楽しむということをしていなかった私にとってはめずらしくテレビをみて楽しみました。大好きになりました。ちょっとおかしなストーリで主人は私を変人あつかいするけれど、すばらしいと思いました。心に聖書を読む喜びをまた求める心が強まったように思います。ふたたび心にちょっと余裕がでてきてうれしいです。
Since I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer in September and the purpose of the treatment is to keep me alive longer (medically speaking), my focus has been Jesus, first of all, then the Scripture, eating (to stop loosing weight), and working and living. By God's grace and many people's prayer I am doing well. Last night I happened to watch Yentl and I was drawn to it. I loved it. It is a little strange story but I understand Yentl who wanted to be free to be herself. God designed us to be us. It brought back my passion to study the Bible more! Praise God. I am also happy that I am doing fun things like enjoying a movie.
I had a healing dream last night. Jesus, I trust in YOU.
ステージ４の癌（＝末期）と診断され、しかも治療の目的は治すためではなく私の体を少しでも長く地上に生かしておくためということになｔってから、私の生活の目的は まずイエス様、そして聖書、食事（体重がこれ以上減るのを防ぐため)、仕事、そして生きるという風になりました。大変そうに聞こえて、事実大変なんだけど、毎日仕事にいってて見た目は普通の生活なんだけど、中身は”生きる”ために生きています。そして神様のめぐみと、多くの人たちのお祈りのおかげで私は元気にしています。 昨夜たまたまYentlという映画を見てとても惹かれてしまいました。生きるために一生懸命だったし、そういう風にテレビを見て楽しむということをしていなかった私にとってはめずらしくテレビをみて楽しみました。大好きになりました。ちょっとおかしなストーリで主人は私を変人あつかいするけれど、すばらしいと思いました。心に聖書を読む喜びをまた求める心が強まったように思います。ふたたび心にちょっと余裕がでてきてうれしいです。
Friday, September 24, 2010
Healing Prayer
Suddenly I am walking as closely to God as I know how. I am hiding under his wings like a little child would go under her parents' presence and hold onto whatever she can hold onto.
I was diagnosed with stage IV primary lung cancer which has spread to several parts of my organ and to my brain. I was a healthy person until I was diagnosed with it.
This is the beginning of my healing blog.
In July I went to an urgent care because of my lingering cough. It was not a big deal because I wasn't coughing much but I kept coughing since March. The x-ray showed a mass in my right lung. The urgent care treated me as pneumonia and told me to find a doctor for a follow-up.
My primary doctor referred me to a surgeon right away and said that this base-ball-sized mass should not be in my lung, and I did a scan.
The surgeon said I was inoperable and told me it was a cancer, but to be sure, I had a PET scan and a biopsy. The PET showed that the cancer had already spread to several parts of the body. He referred me to an oncologist, and ordered an MRI because the lung cancer tends to spread to the brain.
9/1/2010 Saw an oncologist. He said it was a stage 4 primary lung cancer and the prognosis was from 6 months to 2 years. He recommended 6 session of chemo, then one medicine via IV after that indefinitely. I cannot remember when, but sometime before the first appointment I had a dream. In my dream I was walking down an alley which looked like something I saw in a Vietnam War movie. The buildings were gray, and dark. I looked in those houses and saw some people were helplessly lying on the floor and they were dying. Then I shouted, "This is a death house!" and ran. On the way out form the oncologist's office, as I was looking into the treatment room, the image of the dream came back to me because it was just like walking down the narrow alley...
The surgeon called from his cell phone and said that the MRI showed the cancer had already spread to the brain and I needed to talk to my oncologist right away. I was devastated. That night I decided I would just forget chemo and live peacefully until the end, but my husband convinced me that I should start chemo because the medical help was available, and he said I should try. I decided to go along with that for my husband and our children.
Am I going into the room which may be a "death house?" I asked myself as I was entering the oncologist's office. In spite of my expectation, people looked cheerful there. I was at ease. I felt better. We were all trying to get better.
I did one chemo, one more MRI, then CyberKnife radiation therapy in September. I was fine. CyberKnife was a type of a brain surgery but I walked to the hospital, had it done, then walked back to work. I worked a few hours and drove myself home after the procedure. God was strengthening me all this time. My vision was somewhat blurry but I was fine.
I am thankful for all my family and friends and even the people I never met for praying for me.
I believe it is His will for all to be healed.
I was diagnosed with stage IV primary lung cancer which has spread to several parts of my organ and to my brain. I was a healthy person until I was diagnosed with it.
This is the beginning of my healing blog.
In July I went to an urgent care because of my lingering cough. It was not a big deal because I wasn't coughing much but I kept coughing since March. The x-ray showed a mass in my right lung. The urgent care treated me as pneumonia and told me to find a doctor for a follow-up.
My primary doctor referred me to a surgeon right away and said that this base-ball-sized mass should not be in my lung, and I did a scan.
The surgeon said I was inoperable and told me it was a cancer, but to be sure, I had a PET scan and a biopsy. The PET showed that the cancer had already spread to several parts of the body. He referred me to an oncologist, and ordered an MRI because the lung cancer tends to spread to the brain.
9/1/2010 Saw an oncologist. He said it was a stage 4 primary lung cancer and the prognosis was from 6 months to 2 years. He recommended 6 session of chemo, then one medicine via IV after that indefinitely. I cannot remember when, but sometime before the first appointment I had a dream. In my dream I was walking down an alley which looked like something I saw in a Vietnam War movie. The buildings were gray, and dark. I looked in those houses and saw some people were helplessly lying on the floor and they were dying. Then I shouted, "This is a death house!" and ran. On the way out form the oncologist's office, as I was looking into the treatment room, the image of the dream came back to me because it was just like walking down the narrow alley...
The surgeon called from his cell phone and said that the MRI showed the cancer had already spread to the brain and I needed to talk to my oncologist right away. I was devastated. That night I decided I would just forget chemo and live peacefully until the end, but my husband convinced me that I should start chemo because the medical help was available, and he said I should try. I decided to go along with that for my husband and our children.
Am I going into the room which may be a "death house?" I asked myself as I was entering the oncologist's office. In spite of my expectation, people looked cheerful there. I was at ease. I felt better. We were all trying to get better.
I did one chemo, one more MRI, then CyberKnife radiation therapy in September. I was fine. CyberKnife was a type of a brain surgery but I walked to the hospital, had it done, then walked back to work. I worked a few hours and drove myself home after the procedure. God was strengthening me all this time. My vision was somewhat blurry but I was fine.
I am thankful for all my family and friends and even the people I never met for praying for me.
I believe it is His will for all to be healed.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
"Sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? And where are all the miracles our ancestors told us about?
I believe God heals miraculously. (..like something that shows in the x-ray will disappear..) It hasn't happened to me but that doesn't mean God doesn't do it.
"Why did I get this condition in my body?"
I usually stand in my closet and look back my life and repent of things I can think of when I get sick. I don't know if it is right, but it is just the way I am. Always there is something to repent from even though I don't know if it is related to my physical condition or not.
There is one scripture I found some time ago from Judges.
"Sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? And where are all the miracles our ancestors told us about? Didn't they say, `The LORD brought us up out of Egypt'? But now the LORD has abandoned us and handed us over to the Midianites."(Judges 6:13 NLT)
I was told there was a tumor in my right lung. Will I have a surgery?
When we ask the Lord "why" our God answers in various ways according to the situation, I believe, because He knows who we are and where our heart is. He doesn't seem to say "because" thought. God answered Gideon in a very unique way. I almost asked God "why" but my heart seemed to know the answer already.
New Living Translation (©2007)
3“It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. (John 9:3)
May God be glorified!
But I wondered.
"Will you heal me?"
I know it is God's will to heal all of us, but will he heal me? Yet I ask him to heal me. I would definitely keep praying and praying for my family.
12While he was in one of the cities, there came a man full of leprosy.a And when he saw Jesus, he fell on his face and begged him, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” 13And Jesusb stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately the leprosy left him. (ESV)
In NLT Jesus said to be healed. Other translations says to be cleansed. My own understanding is if our whole body was cleansed then naturally diseased part of the body would be healed! Either way, it is Jesus' will to heal us.
"How will it happen?"
Not by eating certain herbs or drinks or food. Not by doing exercises and train body. Those things are beneficial, but healing happens only by the grace of God - by His mighty hand. I still try to eat healthy, but not focus on it too much (at least I will try not to ). I read the scripture somewhere the other day that spoke to me but I can't remember where it was. Should have written it down..
Finally, if whatever I have is not departing from me, I would cling to God and walk one step at a time, asking Him to let me not loose my sight of Him. If not our God, where else could I go?
English Standard Version (©2001)
Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,
(John 6:68)
Lord, to whom shall I go? Only you have the words of eternal life.
"Why did I get this condition in my body?"
I usually stand in my closet and look back my life and repent of things I can think of when I get sick. I don't know if it is right, but it is just the way I am. Always there is something to repent from even though I don't know if it is related to my physical condition or not.
There is one scripture I found some time ago from Judges.
"Sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? And where are all the miracles our ancestors told us about? Didn't they say, `The LORD brought us up out of Egypt'? But now the LORD has abandoned us and handed us over to the Midianites."(Judges 6:13 NLT)
I was told there was a tumor in my right lung. Will I have a surgery?
When we ask the Lord "why" our God answers in various ways according to the situation, I believe, because He knows who we are and where our heart is. He doesn't seem to say "because" thought. God answered Gideon in a very unique way. I almost asked God "why" but my heart seemed to know the answer already.
New Living Translation (©2007)
3“It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. (John 9:3)
May God be glorified!
But I wondered.
"Will you heal me?"
I know it is God's will to heal all of us, but will he heal me? Yet I ask him to heal me. I would definitely keep praying and praying for my family.
12In one of the villages, Jesus met a man with an advanced case of leprosy. When the man saw Jesus, he bowed with his face to the ground, begging to be healed. “Lord,” he said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.”
13Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” And instantly the leprosy disappeared. (Luke 5 NLT)12While he was in one of the cities, there came a man full of leprosy.a And when he saw Jesus, he fell on his face and begged him, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” 13And Jesusb stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.” And immediately the leprosy left him. (ESV)
In NLT Jesus said to be healed. Other translations says to be cleansed. My own understanding is if our whole body was cleansed then naturally diseased part of the body would be healed! Either way, it is Jesus' will to heal us.
"How will it happen?"
Not by eating certain herbs or drinks or food. Not by doing exercises and train body. Those things are beneficial, but healing happens only by the grace of God - by His mighty hand. I still try to eat healthy, but not focus on it too much (at least I will try not to ). I read the scripture somewhere the other day that spoke to me but I can't remember where it was. Should have written it down..
Finally, if whatever I have is not departing from me, I would cling to God and walk one step at a time, asking Him to let me not loose my sight of Him. If not our God, where else could I go?
English Standard Version (©2001)
Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life,
(John 6:68)
Lord, to whom shall I go? Only you have the words of eternal life.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Deuteronomy
The word Deuteronomy derived from Greek and Latin. It is "Devarim" in Hebrew and it means "words."
I see in this book that people's hearts are so stubborn. Mine is like that, too.
God "Go and conquer the land I am giving you."
People "Let us send spies and study the land first."
After the spies came back they didn't want to go.
God "Turn around and go back."
People "We repent. Let us go forward to the land."
God "Stop."
People went any way.
They cried after they were defeated but it was too late, but God is still gracious and compassionate. He loves them anyway.
Many situations like this happen in our lives, I think. Then we cry and think to ourselves (or to the Christians) "where is God when we need him?"
Please forgive me for being selfish and self-centered...
I see in this book that people's hearts are so stubborn. Mine is like that, too.
God "Go and conquer the land I am giving you."
People "Let us send spies and study the land first."
After the spies came back they didn't want to go.
God "Turn around and go back."
People "We repent. Let us go forward to the land."
God "Stop."
People went any way.
They cried after they were defeated but it was too late, but God is still gracious and compassionate. He loves them anyway.
Many situations like this happen in our lives, I think. Then we cry and think to ourselves (or to the Christians) "where is God when we need him?"
Please forgive me for being selfish and self-centered...
Sunday, July 11, 2010
misunderstood words in the Old Testament
The word satan.
I am reviewing one of Kay Arthur's "Lord..." series and got curious about the original word for Satan.
The word "satan" is a Hebrew word and that means "adversary." The one who opposes is "an adversary" and the word for that is "satan." It is not his name. Then I googled. See
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H7854&t=NLT
and
http://www.bibletopics.com/biblestudy/164.htm
The word Lucifer
A couple months ago I learned that the infamous name "Lucifer" is not in the original text when I was curious to see this part in the original language. Did anyone know that? We just assume that one of the fallen angels or the demon's name is Lucifer, but it is not true.See this.
http://www.echoofeden.com/bias/lucifer/
I am reviewing one of Kay Arthur's "Lord..." series and got curious about the original word for Satan.
The word "satan" is a Hebrew word and that means "adversary." The one who opposes is "an adversary" and the word for that is "satan." It is not his name. Then I googled. See
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H7854&t=NLT
and
http://www.bibletopics.com/biblestudy/164.htm
The word Lucifer
A couple months ago I learned that the infamous name "Lucifer" is not in the original text when I was curious to see this part in the original language. Did anyone know that? We just assume that one of the fallen angels or the demon's name is Lucifer, but it is not true.See this.
http://www.echoofeden.com/bias/lucifer/
Thursday, July 8, 2010
She conceives (Tazria)
(This is not according to the reading schedule.)
Leviticus 12:1-13:59
The instruction regarding a woman who conceives and gives birth to a child. The Scriptures say that the woman is unclean for certain days. I didn't know what to think of this. She becomes a mom and is 'unclean'. But the "Walk! Leviticus" commentary says something interesting. It gave me a different point of view.
(The word "tam'ah" means defiled.)
I feel God's thoughtfulness towards our wholeness.
Leviticus 12:1-13:59
The instruction regarding a woman who conceives and gives birth to a child. The Scriptures say that the woman is unclean for certain days. I didn't know what to think of this. She becomes a mom and is 'unclean'. But the "Walk! Leviticus" commentary says something interesting. It gave me a different point of view.
"Women do not sin by giving birth to children (Gen. 1:28). Nor do their subsequent rites of purification require laying on of hands, confession, an asham, or a different offering for the birth of a boy or a girl. But the loss of blood diminishes a mother's wholeness, rendering her incomplete and thus tam'ah (cf. Lev. 12:4, 5, 7). Only the passage of time restores her wholeness."
(Walk! Leviticus)(The word "tam'ah" means defiled.)
I feel God's thoughtfulness towards our wholeness.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Mr. Shigehara
This youtube is about Mr. Shigehara who wrote many visas to the Jewish people during the WW ll.
I was very touched by his life. I saw a movie based on his life, too. I believe he was a Christian.
I was very touched by his life. I saw a movie based on his life, too. I believe he was a Christian.
Monday, May 3, 2010
In Jairus' case
A ruler of the synagogue, Jairus (meaning, whom God enlightens) came to see Jesus, he fell at his feet and asked Jesus to come to his house to pray for his daughter.
Then the woman who was suffering from bleeding for 12 years came up to Jesus to touch his fringe. Jesus was on his way to Jairus' house. The crowd was around him. The disciples were with him. Jesus stopped, looked around, and took time talking to this woman! What if I were Jairus? Ahhhh... "Excuse me, but my daughter is dying, we don't have much time. Jesus needs to be there now, please..." Then, humanly speaking, I am not sure if I could be happy for this woman who was healed. Couldn't she wait until after Jesus comes to his house? Someone from the house came and reported that Jairus' daughter died... while he was spending some time with this woman. Jesus was on his way to his house. He was almost there. I would have cried with such a disappointment. I don't know how Jairus reacted. A woman who suffered for 12 years was healed. But Jairus' 12 year old daughter died.
But Jesus is not restricted by the time frame. He was not too late.
Ms. Beth Moore said this in her "Beloved Disciple."
"A loved one's death is not a time to quit bothering Jesus." "He doesn't have our limitations or rationalizations. Has a death left you with unfinished business? Finish it with Jesus."
When I was doing the study last year my aunt passed away. These words from Beth Moore in the textbook was very encouraging to me. We don't know what happened to the loved ones who passed away without Jesus but we can bother Jesus about it until He gives us peace. I don't have the answer, but I pray until I have peace with Jesus. Beth's words gave me renewed confidence in Jesus.
Sometimes we think we were pushed aside and fell behind, but Jesus never forgets about us. He is never too late. He makes a way where there seems to be no way... Jesus raised the girl from the dead.
Then the woman who was suffering from bleeding for 12 years came up to Jesus to touch his fringe. Jesus was on his way to Jairus' house. The crowd was around him. The disciples were with him. Jesus stopped, looked around, and took time talking to this woman! What if I were Jairus? Ahhhh... "Excuse me, but my daughter is dying, we don't have much time. Jesus needs to be there now, please..." Then, humanly speaking, I am not sure if I could be happy for this woman who was healed. Couldn't she wait until after Jesus comes to his house? Someone from the house came and reported that Jairus' daughter died... while he was spending some time with this woman. Jesus was on his way to his house. He was almost there. I would have cried with such a disappointment. I don't know how Jairus reacted. A woman who suffered for 12 years was healed. But Jairus' 12 year old daughter died.
But Jesus is not restricted by the time frame. He was not too late.
Ms. Beth Moore said this in her "Beloved Disciple."
"A loved one's death is not a time to quit bothering Jesus." "He doesn't have our limitations or rationalizations. Has a death left you with unfinished business? Finish it with Jesus."
When I was doing the study last year my aunt passed away. These words from Beth Moore in the textbook was very encouraging to me. We don't know what happened to the loved ones who passed away without Jesus but we can bother Jesus about it until He gives us peace. I don't have the answer, but I pray until I have peace with Jesus. Beth's words gave me renewed confidence in Jesus.
Sometimes we think we were pushed aside and fell behind, but Jesus never forgets about us. He is never too late. He makes a way where there seems to be no way... Jesus raised the girl from the dead.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
No more insecurity
Last week I went to a local church to participate in Ms. Beth Moore's simultaneous telecast. I had been stressed and feeling worn out, so I really, really looked forward to it. I needed something liberating and fun, and that was just what I did. I prayed, worshiped and my spirit was satisfied. I relaxed and listened, too. I was singing in the car again on my way home. Beth said that there were 300,000 women participating that morning! I was so glad to be a part of it. All these women's lives were changed by God through Beth's study. I know I am one of them. The topic was "So long, insecurity." Each of us matters Him. Sometimes we think God forgets us but that is not true. Beth's message is always encouraging.
I understood what she said. I am a changed person compared to several years ago because I separated myself from my insecurity. That happened when I felt alone and away from God. When I made a choice to do one thing, one Godly person was offended (because my choice of one thing automatically denied another thing even though I didn't mean to reject the other thing). I was devastated because I offended one Godly person and I felt like I was suddenly the enemy of her and her Godly friends. I felt like I was cut off from the Godly people I love. I didn't know where God stood in the situation at that time. I tend to hide and shy away and stand in distance to begin with and it is hard for me to claim to God that I don't have his support, but I desperately claimed that I was a child of God, too. I said that I knew God loved the person and her friends, but I am also God's child. As soon as I said that to God, I suddenly saw a picture in my mind. In my mind I stood up suddenly out of a wheelchair. The name of the wheelchair was "insecurity." I stood up out of a wheelchair called insecurity that day. I was not bound with insecurity any more because I was now sure that I was loved also. It was a very interesting experience.
I am still standing.
I understood what she said. I am a changed person compared to several years ago because I separated myself from my insecurity. That happened when I felt alone and away from God. When I made a choice to do one thing, one Godly person was offended (because my choice of one thing automatically denied another thing even though I didn't mean to reject the other thing). I was devastated because I offended one Godly person and I felt like I was suddenly the enemy of her and her Godly friends. I felt like I was cut off from the Godly people I love. I didn't know where God stood in the situation at that time. I tend to hide and shy away and stand in distance to begin with and it is hard for me to claim to God that I don't have his support, but I desperately claimed that I was a child of God, too. I said that I knew God loved the person and her friends, but I am also God's child. As soon as I said that to God, I suddenly saw a picture in my mind. In my mind I stood up suddenly out of a wheelchair. The name of the wheelchair was "insecurity." I stood up out of a wheelchair called insecurity that day. I was not bound with insecurity any more because I was now sure that I was loved also. It was a very interesting experience.
I am still standing.
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